Monday, November 14, 2016

Currently Post - November story

It has been a week in November, and don't know why and how, but November will be the peak of 2016.

Honestly, 2016 is like a long suspense drama. Each story is revealed bits by bits leading to a big climax. The ending can be anything. We can make a guess, but plot twist is also a probability. Since, everything happened in 2016 is unexpected so far. Also, though there are things that have been expected, the story will not be the same as I have thought. It can be worse, can also be better version of what I have expected. So, trying to guess what is 2016 about is just wasting my energy.

I have been feeling uneasy since the beginning of 2016. I have one event that I couldn't tell, because I have no courage to repeat it in my head as I am telling it. It already made my world shaken a little bit. Then, it has been ups and downs in 2016. Actually it is more exciting than I can imagine remembering all the bad things happened as a starter of the year. Things which have been happened, obviously is having connection to each other. At least it is nurturing for me to get prepared of whatever the ending given.

We all living in the uncertainty right? However, there is an obvious case and hidden one. Currently, I am facing a very exposed matter that I am dying to know the ending so bad. Not only one, but more... Unfortunately, I am planning to let you know once I am facing the certainty about it which should be revealed soon. At least one thing is pretty clear now. For this matter, it is related to traveling story.

Yes baby... I'll be traveling again soon :)
I am going to be a bridesmaid in Surabaya and I will continue my journey to the place, I'll be revealing once I am there :)

Talking about this traveling adventure.
I have been planning this for a long loooong time. Truly a long time. In 2014, I have talked about this plan to a friend who has similar liking about traveling. Last year, we made a promise to do it at least this year, and finally it is happening.

It is another completion when I just take care of everything about it financially. I got my visa without my parents' help. For me, it is achievement. I grew up in the middle class environment when sometimes we are spoiled. Parents can help. I still get some help like borrowing credit card to buy ticket since my credit card limit is not enough, but other than that, I am proud to say that I am able to do it on my own. It is not bragging, but a proof that I am celebrating my independence.

Therefore, I am willing to enjoy my trip at the fullest. By not over-doing it. Plan things imperfectly, and go along the wind blows. Not saying that I am not having itinerary, but I am trying not to be greedy haha...

Again, 2016... I don't know how to define you anymore. You are like a tvN drama which is revealing a little mystery time by time.
lol

oh my




CVB

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Practical Living for a Solo Soul - Advantages and Disadvantages living Alone

FINALLY! oh yeah Chen, so much for a series eh? haha...
Well, things happened! A lot than I expected, so... I managed to conclude this series A MONTH after I promised. Yea Right!

Anyhow, here I am... will blabber a little bit about what I think that are disadvantages and advantages of living alone. I have actually tipped a little bit about this on my December series 2015 - Changes in Me after 7 years living alone, but for this post, I will go for a little detail about what's good and what's not so good about living alone.

Again, this is a very subjective post for it is based on my humble observation and experiences.

ADVANTAGES:
1. Independent!
There's no doubt about this. Meaning, you can decide things finely without being too dependant on other people. I have seen how different me or other 'perantau' with people who grow up entirely with their family. Not saying that they are fully not independent, but yeah.. there's slightly difference. For example, I know how to pay tax, how to change the LPG when it is empty, how to change the dispenser, how to change light bulb, and how to clean my own bath room. Simple things, but it does matter.

2. Independence!
I am differentiate this with point number one, because this is more about decisions. I decide my own things, and my parents let me decide it. Not all of course, but little things like where to travel, what to buy, what to eat, I decide them on my own. I don't have to wait for other people, and just go!

3. Creative!
Oh yeah... somehow, you are more creative because there's some limitations, and you have solve your own problems. No vehicles for grocery shopping? Walk and bring back pack, limit it for your own needs, and done! not so much fuss about it :) Especially, you get creative when managing money for the entire month lol.

4. Maturity...
It is not entirely true, but I feel it more. Again, comparing my self with others.. or comparing my friends who live abroad or away from their parents, they have moved one step forward in order of maturity. Perhaps because you face problems on your own, small or big. Friends and Families are still on reach, but for the immediate action, you are the one who will handle it eventually.

5. A lot of Me Time
Plenty of them actually. This is an advantage, because you have time to process things in your head beforehand. Your head becomes busy, and you can catch on details or things that other people are not aware of.

DISADVANTAGES
1. Lonely...
this is an ultimate price that you have to pay. Well, friends do help, but when you are at your rented place, you are going to realize that there's only one brush teeth at the bathroom, there's only one towel hung, there's only one bed, there's only you. Yes, I do still feel lonely at home alone. I love being with my family when I am home in Makassar for Christmas. Dogs barking, my niece is crying, my father is watching on his pad, my mom is watching tv, Here in Malang, I go to church by my self, I eat while I am watching TV since it is the only source of voice that I can think of. Not so bad, but it is definitely the down part of living alone.

2. Individualistic...
Somehow, it grows deeper in you that you can't really stand when you are around with many people for a longer period of time. You are longing your loneliness. hahaha what a contrary, but it is the fact. You have no problem to go alone and sometimes will not follow the majority.

3. Everything needs to be done by YOU
From laundry, paying bills, and other small stuff. Even when you are sick, you need to boil water, cook yourself a bowl of porridge. It is not fun at all, but manageable. *sigh

4. Everything needs to be decided by YOU
Sometimes, it is great to have such an independence for deciding what you wanna do, what you wanna eat, but it all eventually depends on your mood. It is nice to have heard some ideas from other person as well.

In the end, it is all about you against the world huh? Not so bad actually. But, yes... you have to remind yourself that you are human who needs some social interaction, more than just meet up, but a person who is just be there for you.
I enjoy my solo living so far, but I did feel loneliness, and I knew that I am growing to be more individualistic. The things is, you just need to balance out yourself. I believe each matter has the bad and the good...

Good luck!! :)

CVB

Friday, October 7, 2016

Currently - October Mood

Let the intermezzo is in!
A halt for previous series. I need to release my October mood. I have been haunted by this idea that I am doubting my own heart. It is like... I know the answer is there, but my mind is still speculating this and that. It is confusing and exhausting. It reminds me a lot of those days back in 2011 when I struggled on whether to go home or to stay in the States. Here, all over again with different matters, with more uncertainty. Growing up, things are not getting easier haha... Here it is an excerpt from an Indonesian movie in early 2000, starred Rachel Maryam and Marcel Siahaan - Andai Ia Tahu. 

Kejujuran itu seperti es krim
Kalau tidak dilahap... bakalan cepat meleleh.. 
hilang ditelan hawa panas. 
Bisep di tangan itu kan otot fisik. Nah.. kejujuran itu otot mental. 
Dan otot harus dilatih terus.. biar kuat...

Hari ini latihan kejujuran gue... 
Jujur pada diri sendiri...

Gue takut... 
Takut kalau intuisi gue mengenai banyak hal selama ini salah... 
Gue takut... 
Takut kalau gue bangun besok matahari nggak muncul di timur...
Atau gimana ketika gue bangun besok...
Gue baru tahu..

Kalau hati bisa salah...

Renata - Andai Ia Tahu, 2002

Honesty is like an ice cream. If it is not eaten, it will be gone out of the heat. Biceps in our hands are muscles, honesty is mental's muscles. And muscles are supposed to be trained.
My honesty train for today is.. honest to my self.

I am scarred...
Scarred if my intuition about many things are wrong.
I am scarred...
Scarred if I wake up tomorrow, the sun is not showing from East.
Or how about if I am waking up tomorrow, I just know that... heart can be wrong...

It is representing what I have been feeling. Following heart. Intuition. All is my thing, but... I am in that position where my head speaks louder stirring my heart. I have fears. Nonetheless, I also encountered one good quote early this month...

Are you feeling a bit shaken, maybe stirred, and maybe fearful, and completely, utterly, wildly terrified? 
Good! Keep Going!

So... Chen... Clench you teeth hard and keep going!!!  

CVB


Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Practical Living for a Solo Soul - How to deal with loneliness and homesickness

Heylo..

Here I am back again with the long-named-series. This is the second episode of the series. Living alone, or solo always stumbling upon these two issues. Loneliness and Homesickness, depending on the duration of your status living alone. If you are the first timer, usually homesickness and loneliness come together like a combo. Most of the time, only homesickness since you are excited making new friends for the first few months. For the veterans; those who have been living up to 10 years by themselves, maybe.. once in a while, they will feel lonely without realizing it. For my case, I still feel these two. Intertwining. Especially when I lived in Surabaya. Funny eh? Because, I could not recall if I was really lonely or homesick when I was in the US. I think, it was only the first year when I was in Seattle. New environment. That's it. However when I am in Surabaya and Malang, once in a while, here and there, I still feel lonely or homesick. Anyway, let's dig in into things that probably can help you to deal with these two 'sickness'

First thing first, always knowing yourself first. Whether you are actually an introvert or extrovert ones. Perhaps, you can be both... sometimes you are outgoing, and some other times you need your quality me time. For the extrovert case, mostly they are OK. Because they often feel lonely when they are not doing anything, but they immediately reach out friends so they basically can deal with loneliness well. However, they especially lonely at nights actually.
While the introverts are looked fine at home alone. Nevertheless, this is actually the dangerous part. Since the introverts don't really realize that they are feeling lonely. They shut themselves at room, and by the time goes, they actually nearly depressed. People! You need to meet up!
So... what is the solution?

Everything needs B.A.L.A.N.C.E. and you should find a community Whether you are a an extrovert or introvert. A community is good. Starts from there. I am totally aware that introverts sometimes feel better at home, but they still need people. :) Starts with the common interest, whether it is religious, work-related, school clubs, or game community. With community, you start to converse, you are releasing your bottled up energy. You will find one or two persons who have similar common sense with you, make friends. People; how individualistic they are, they still need interaction.
Next, Call Your PARENTS! or family. Have you heard cases that people who firstly are not really closed with their family, finally getting closer when they are away? Yep! It is true. It happens to me, my cousin, and some of my friends. I personally feel much better after talk to my dad.

Now, dealing with homesickness.
For me, I learn to cook food that I like to eat at home. I learn how to make Mie Goreng Kanton *Chinese Makassar specialties. It helps. Food is one thing that is easily making you feel like at home. Other thing, reminiscing by turning on your family Sunday tunes, or what you and your friends would listen while on a drive. I also re-watch my family favorite movies; The Sound of Music, Lion King, and Sr. Act 2.

Also, you could just walk out and wander around. Maybe chillin at a grocery store, strollin a long your neighborhood, or listen to songs while walking around. It helps to clear your mind. And be strong :). Just remember that you always have a home to come back. The home will never move away, still there, and always welcome you back... :)





CVB

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Practical Living for Solo soul - Grocery edition

Hola, to commemorate the 7th year I live by myself , I would like to introduce to you the new series...

It is called Practical Living for Solo Soul. Sorry for a long name. It will contain up to 3 posts (weekly updated) blabbering about how to survive as a person who lives alone. I have only been in my 7th year of my solo living so I can't say it is loooong enough to say that I am an experti, but I sense little changes in my habit dealing with living alone. This post might be helpful for those who starts living alone while working or studying. :) It is grocery edition!!

People who live alone have two dilemmas.
One: eating outside
Two: cooking alone.

Eating outside can be a dilemma because some places only serve a big portion of food and not to mention how many rupiahs you have to spend for food alone. It is not a casual option to have dine out every single day, so we go to option number two. Cooking! Now, this can be a dilemma as well since you are buying too much, and it is spoiled, and you just realize that you credit card bills are half for groceries. Not a pretty choice either. However, cooking always saves more and mom always says; "it is healthier"

I will divide into two main things; food (can be spoiled) and non-food (obviously not gonna be spoiled or expired any date soon).

FOOD
First thing first you have to check on your self what kind of eater you are. Do you get bored easily over the same menu? or Do you usually go for one menu for the whole week? I fall into the first category. If you are the second category, you are more saved. You can buy the whole broccoli or chicken and eating it for the whole weeks. Me? I can't. So, I will elaborate about how to grocery shopping smartly enough.

If you are a very very first timer, yes you need basics at your kitchen rack ready. Cooking oil, salt, pepper, and sugar. Only up to there for the time being. For Indonesians, additionally sweet soy sauce is the maiiiiinnn star. Don't think of any hard recipes. Simply cooking egg, fried rice will be good enough to survive.

Secondly, we go for the goods. if you are like me who likes to change menu every two or three days, and love to eat variety of menu, you can follow my tips. Thinking of the menu, is a good starts up; however, my tips is, you should buy ingredients that can be mixed and matched. There is one of the days, that I really really want to eat a particular menu, so I go for it. Instead of buying things that you think that "ah, just buy, I might need it someday" or "I might cook 'this' someday" No! It would barely happened. Your stomach sometimes can be spontaneous. So, just stick to the simpler things.

1. buy a soup package containing five different veggies in small portion. Believe me it is enough for yourself, plus, you can make 3 receipes out of it. Also saves up since you will use the whole ingredients without wasting it.



2. Always have 6 eggs maximal on your pantry unless you eat hard-boiled egg every morning like some other person that I know. Check the expiration date. my 6 eggs can survive for 6 up to 10 days depend on my preference. I limit myself up to an egg a day. Maximum 2 if I cook a bigger portion of meal.

3. Buy a reasonable size of condiments. Mothers always say that bigger is better, but that's not always the case. We only live by ourselves. Condiments have expiration dates. Unless, you are cooking every single meal and every single day, that's another case. But, medium size condiments are always convenient. Moreover, if you are buying more ingredients other than the basic ingredients mentioned before, you better buy a smaller size since that's not gonna be used often. For instance mustard or mayonnaise, I guess we will not use that daily. Believe me, it is cheaper and efficient that way. You will not waste anything.

4. CALCULATING! If you have lived alone for quiet some time, you may have predicted when you will be dining out or not. Don't naively say that you'll be cooking one month long. It will never happen. So, I am suggesting you do grocery shop at least twice a month. Each grocery only buys what you are going to cook or eat. Especially vegetables and fruits. Tips! buy ingredients that can be 'mixed and matched.' Don't over-buy on anything. For example, buy only up to two or three type of fruits, limit it to the fair amount. I usually buy up to five apples plus a package of mixed fruits. Mixed fruits can be expensive but it does the same with the package mixed-vegetables. It is more saving this way. You can eat variety of fruits, but not wasting it.

5. Tips for buying bread. Bread only lasts for three days. Keep it refrigerated and heat it on the pan when you want to eat it.

6. Last source of heaven, please keep canned food and instant food for the end of the month or when you are having PMS and practically lazy dining out, lazy cooking day. LOL. I always have a canned of sardines and a small sachet of corned beef. Instant noodles up to 5 packs.

7. Aside from the mixed veggies that I have mentioned above, I sometimes want some freshness in my plate. For vegetables, I decide to purchase at the local market. It saves up significantly. Vegetables are encouraged to be bought daily. For the freshness. My tips, you just buy one or two main things for the day. Whether go for spinach, or one menu *bean sprouts and carrots stir fry for example, so you are not going to waste it. Buying in the local market sometimes a trouble. Because it offers you cheaper if you buy a lot. Again! Don't fall for that. Keeping fresh vegetables for a long run is not good. Unless veggies like carrots, eggplants, or cucumbers are ok for a long run. Nonetheless, totally not for the greens. That is my main reason why I love Korean cooking or Korean food culture. I cook the whole spinach haemul and stored in the fridge. I can eat it up to 3 or 4 times. If you don't like eating cold food, put it out in the room temperature for a while, so you can still eat the nutritious food.

8. For proteins, I always have tofu in my fridge. Mainly because I like tofu; boiled, stir fried, fried, put in the soup. Very practical and cheap. However, I also go for other type of proteins. At least store 1 type in the freezer. Don't be greedy to buy chicken and meat at the same time unless you really want to cook the whole thing.


NON-FOOD
for non food, I suggest you always buy the biggest size. Because it won't be spoiled. But, you have to calculate precisely what you should restocking now and later. Because buying them all in one go is not convenient for solo living. If you don't have car or motor cycle, bringing all full size liquid bottles are not practical. So, you have to divide what should you restock first. Kitchen stuff or Bath stuff.

I spend around Rp 500.000 a month for all the groceries and food (for cooking). It can be less than that, but I am pretty generous on food. Sometimes, I also like to buy imported ingredients; thus, it goes around that number. You may have less than that if you want. Sometimes, I only spent up to Rp200.000 for a whole month if I only buy essential things.

Another tips; just use one medium or small size of shopping basket. So, you won't end up buying other un-important or un-urgent things.

Here is to sum up the points:
1. Don't be greedy!
2. Think of the present! Mostly, because you never know what your mood in the next day, or next week. So, just buy what you need in a week or two *depending on the busy days you have
3. Spend more time in calculating. Making sure that you include your busy days, so you know what to prepare.

Happy grocery shopping!!!!

my grocery the first week of September

Monday, September 5, 2016

Currently (September edition) - Dealing with Loss

I am supposed to post another series on Strawbearies as I promised before, but the first week of September is really something. That is why I will post the 'Currently' post up first, along with a big theme  - Dealing with Loss.

Life is a drama itself isn't it? Sometimes, you find 3 events happened in one 120 minutes movie. Sometimes, in a series, somebody says I love you on episode 2. Then, somebody is killed on episode 4. I feel that my life in the first week of September is like a drama. On the 1st of September, I heard a joyful news, we finally have birthday celebration for FOUR generations on 1st September. My grandma, my aunt, and we have to skip the third generation, go directly to fourth generation, my niece was born on first of September. What's more delightful than that? A miracle does happen. It was a blessing. truly.

Then, September 3rd, I flew to Jakarta for another wedding. She's one of the closest when I was in high school. I hung out a lot with juniors when I was in high school. She and the other 2 girls were together with me as Alto in the school vocal group. I was so happy seeing familiar faces whom I never seen for years. I was happy. Joyful. Delighted.

Finally, September 4th, just when I arrived in Malang from Jakarta, I saw the news on line saying one of my mom's aunt was passed away. Life is indeed like a movie. I can't believe that everything can be happened in a week. Life is a cycle indeed, and it moves forward. What bugs me tho, I am thinking of her sister. The grandma (my mom's aunt) who passed away is unmarried, she lived with her youngest sister who also unmarried. The youngest worked with my mom as old as I am. My family is so closed with her. She is one of the most influencing people in my life. She was the one who picked me up from school since kindergarten to high school. No kidding. Literally, daily. I am worried of her. Losing someone really strikes you after all the crowds are gone, when you are alone at the places you shared memory with the one who passed. I am imagining, she is sleeping on the same bed with her sister, she eats on the same table with her sister, and many things in her home or in her daily will remind her of her late sister. This is what happened to those who are left.

Dealing with  loss always different to everyone. But, one thing for sure, tears will be shed, if you are remembering of your loved ones who passed away already. I remember, not so long before my mom passed, she told me that she missed her dad so much with teary eyes and shaky voice. At that time, her dad already passed over a decade, but her feeling of loss still there. I believe everyone will do the same. I do the same. It has been only three years since my mom passed away, and I can't help but tearing if I miss her, if I remember about her, if I encountered something that related to her. Not long a go, I think about last week of August, I suddenly missed mambo so much. So... much.... It happened once in a while. Before, every Sunday was a miserable time, because I was all alone in Malang and nothing to do, my brain automatically played a memory with mambo. That's how it is. I somehow don't want to forget. I am afraid to forget the memories about mambo. I want to recollect every memory about her even that means that I have to cry or if I have to feel sad. Because, it is a disaster if I forget about her.

Dealing with loss for me is facing it. If you miss somebody who passed, remember her or him. Nothing is wrong about crying. Nothing is wrong about recalling memories about them. Those who have passed, are meant not to be forgotten. They've been in our life anyway. I know we should not drown in sadness, but remembering is not wrong. The wrong thing is if we forget.

I have not really shared about this to anyone, but weeks after my mom passed, everyone was asking me whether I was Ok or not. I answered to them that I was OK. I was OK indeed, but that's because people's attention was still with us. However, months after that, me and papo felt the pain of losing even more. People always move forward with their life, their attention on us was not so intense anymore, then, we could not help but dealing that somebody who's been with us, was not with us anymore.

From my personal experience, after 100 days of my mom passed, I could not help but longing for a changed environment. I travelled. For Chinese, we were not supposed to travel for a year, but I could not help it and my papo supported me, including the youngest grand ma that I told you before. I chose Bali. Even though, I was longing for a change, but I still chose a place that my mambo loved so much!! Funny isn't it.? With a help of my lovely Seattle girls, I walked down the lane of memories. I went to papaya supermarket, went to Ubud, ate sushi and ate Korean food at the place that mambo liked, did things that mambo loved. I have told you that mambo loved discount haven't I? Papaya after 8 PM had a discount for their food, and that's what we did. After a year, I went to US, to Minneapolis. I also walked down the lane where me and mambo shared memories. I went to the restaurant that she loved, I walked down the streets that we walked together. I recalled what she told me when we walked, or passed something :) Or, I would watch movies that we used to watch a lot together. It was soothing. Again, different people have different ways to deal with loss.

Our Sunday - Watching Sr. Act 2 :) 
I do agree that we should not be drown by loss. Someone passed away, we should live. There are certain things if changed, would give us a better environment to keep going. Maybe, a change in the room from what it used to be, might help. My friend who suddenly lost her dad, tried to move forward by working a lot, my cousin who lost her dad a month after my mom did the same thing I did, she walked down the lane of memories where her dad and her spent a lot of time. She travelled to Indonesia from the Netherlands. Different people have their own ways. I also know somebody who would like to be alone and wandered around outside.

One more thing, I think I was helped by mambo to be able to move forward. One day, I think it was not even 100 days, my message lines with her was gone. Erased unknowingly. Like something happened with my phone, and all my message threads with her was gone. I was hysterically cried like I lost my mom again. I think I cried harder than when my mom was passed. I honestly was still peeking at the messages, remembering that we just talked a few hours before she was passing. I was crying whenever I read the last message of me and her.  It was painful, but I liked it. It was a prove tha she was there before. However, it might be erased for the better. I cried alone and shouted in the bed room until my dad came and asked me gently what's going on. He then told me that it was erased for a better purpose. Maybe, it should be erased so mambo could go smoothly. He added that memories would never die, I could create a conversation of me and mambo in my head if I wanted to. Papo said

... that people who died are only a prayer a way from you...

I'd like to say that I enjoy whenever my mom's coming into my mind. I told to my self that whenever I remembered or missed my mom, I would not remember her in vain, but remember her in joy because she did have goofy side of her. Also, because she was gone not in pain, but in a beautiful way as I have talked in here...

Dealing with loss, I will bravely embrace it. Not in agony, but in a grateful heart for what they have done for me. Cheering for them. For how they have done in life. If they have lived a kinda painful life, then, pray for them.

Again, I am not an expert. People may or may not agree with me. Some will go extreme. They might prefer to drastically change things, but... this is the way I deal with loss. Please don't think that it is going to be easier if I ever lost somebody that I know dearly. It will never easy. Seeing someone dying was a blessing and a curse. I am seeing death in a different way. I still can't imagine if my dog dies, if my papo, my opa oma, or my friend died... but death is something that we are eventually facing. So... let's just face it. Feel the pain, but don't let the pain bites you... you are the remote control of yourself anyway...

This is the way I deal with loss...

Cry if you need to, but then smile because they have graduated...

Mambo: Thumbs up!!!!! 

Cheers


CVB


Monday, August 29, 2016

Quarter-life Crisis....

Hi.. hi...

Yes, another post before August is ended.
Its title can sound a little sad, but no... no worries.. it is not a post full of my worry and whining about life. It is about something real, something that most of us have, is, or will face anyway.

Quarter-life Crisis usually comes to those people in their 20s. Mostly in mid 20s towards late 20s. or perhaps early 30s. It is not specifically for people in 25 years old, can be happened a little earlier or a little later. I think I am having it right now in the age of 27. Plus, perhaps because my life this year is full of surprise and uncertainty. It triggers me more to think about what I should do with my life.

What is it actually? Quarter-life crisis usually led by a question; "What should I do with my life" "What I have done" "What's next?". It is a period of time where you start questioning yourself. Perhaps, because you feel you are in the 'race'. Your high school friend is having the second baby, you college friend is owning her own company, you church friend is getting married, and here you are... not going anywhere, not doing something significant, just so-so. You start thinking that you haven't  done enough, and you should do something big. One thing for sure, you don't need to be like them do you? Look back, you have created a wonderful story on your own. Looking back, indeed, I have created a wonderful story on my own.



In my case though, I am totally walking blind-fonded. Not because I don't have options, I do have many options, but again, everything is still unsure. There is a 'pre-requisted' quest that needs to be done, to be able to conduct the next move. Sounds so exciting right? hahah, Thank God, I am in the age where I can be calmed a little bit and have no desire to rush everything, even though I am dying to know what would be happened soon. Naturally, as an Arian (a person born under Aries sign), I can be impatient, but God is good, He made me meet a lot of people who teach me how to slow down, and press the brake. I am blessed.



*Do you remember about Senior Syndrome that I have talked in my other blog yearssss ago, when I was in my senior year in college? I think I am in that stage all over again. The difference is, I am more relaxed. I am in the point where things are uncertain again. I mean... really. I have no power to move unless one thing is decided by the end of this year. Talking about what I want? Please, you better not asking. :) Partly, because I don't have any particular will. I am opened for everything. Well, I do wish to have things stay the same, but even if there is a change, I will accept it.  Life moves forward anyway. I am in a total surrender. My brain generates possibilities; I am having all the thoughts that are contradicted to another, but I try to hold my emotion such a fear that comes along, and let my intuition takes the lead. It works best like that. Things can be so unpredictable.
I reminisce how I felt when I decided to go home for good in 2011. You can find the story in here. It meant a lot because who knew, that it would be my last chance to be with my mom before she left this world. I am not saying this to scare you, but yep... life is too broad to be controlled only under your hand. And, fear is good. The bigger fear you have for what you are facing, the better things would happen. As odd as it is, life is unpredictable anyway You just have to... go for it.

*Oh funny fact, just a year a go, one of my friends mentioned about this, he too was having that syndrome again - or I may call.. a quarter-life crisis, a little earlier than me hahaha. Good thing, he now knows what he is doing, so I think he passes it finely. One more funny fact that he was having the senior syndrome with me back in the college years. Pal, if you read this, honestly I did not understand what you had through, but hey... here I am, I may say... "ah... this was what you have felt" lol

For you out there, who are in the Quarter-life crisis, Just don't be afraid. Take a chance! Not wasting your time to think too much. I don't mean, no thinking at all, but over thinking will give more troubles. Life moves forward indeed. There are too many great things are still uncovered. Things can be uncertain and perhaps, unstable, but who cares. Live as a happy person even your life can be flopped.
Worry less. Fall in love. Run. Stop. Kicking the stones, climbing up mountains, building your own 'history'.



Good luck to you...
and
Good luck to me...



CVB

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Currently - August Edition

As you may have read in my previous post, July was gone pretty fast as I had so many things to do. I went home for holiday, Office was closed for two days as we went to Batu for gathering, two days after that, I flew to Medan for the first time for a wedding. Snap snap snap... time flicks just like that. Not to mention, reports were awaiting to be done. Oh yeah... busy busy busy... One whole month, and not a single post. I am sorry for that.

Now, to conclude July and enjoying August , aaand welcoming September with a new spirit, let's dig in for "Currently" mode...

1. Songwise, I am really into spotify these days! Well, I was into it on my college days back in the States, but Spotify was exclusively only for US users only back then. It was just recently that spotify came to Indonesia. Hell yeah. My account is still active lol. I enjoyed the random play list given. My favorite discovery was Sara Gezarek. But, more Korean songs as well... I enjoyed HOMME's album so much. And yep.. finally I could discover more music. Rock on.



2. Dramawise, I am still watching current airing drama, but because of hectic schedules, I am a little behind, but now starting to catch up again. Currently and mostly done with 38 Force, and I don't know what to watch next. Since I have so many lines up. Perhaps trying some romance again Chen?
- To watch list: Let's fight Ghost, W, Uncontrollably Fond, The Good Wife, Age of youth, and Doctor Strangers.
- The review of 38 Force will be coming out soon.



3. Lfe itself. Oh wow August.
The 8th month of 2016 already.4 months to go and 2016 will be passed, new year will come. Do you remember that I was kinda down in the beginning of 2016?
 Now, I am seeing the pattern... everything is becoming clearer, and I am feeling blessed each and every day. This year, it might be still early to conclude what kind of year it is, but I have a feeling that it a year that my dreams are slightly, and slowly coming true... It was subtly different from last year. Last year was definitely, a year full of answered prayers. How it is different from this year? Again, it all involved a lot of magical thing occurring. I would not go into details for the sake of conclusion of the year, in the end of this year; therefore, please excuse me to be a blurry describer... LOL

Oh well, I have been dreaming to go to weddings since I have missed so many weddings, and this year was granted. Coincidence or not, many of my closest are getting married this year. From Medan to Makassar. and I am happy travelling for these wonderful people's special days.

Continue talking about 'dreams come true' thingy, you know... sometimes... it might not happened the way you wish. Most of the things happening around me is not exactly what I dreamt of, but... I have no authority to be fussy about it. Haha, I believe He knows it better. Again, I am facing uncertainty, but I am not panic, I knew it would be an exciting ride once again, for whatever would happen. Because I have learned that let the surprise be a surprise. Most of the time, 'the surprises' are not far from what I have dreamt about. Nevertheless, a 'surprise' is still a surprise. That's how 2016 has been treating me. Little surprises here and there, small miracles here and there...There haven't been big events unlike in 2015, where almost every two months had at least a big event haha... All in all, I am grateful.

I am sorry if this isn't going anywhere, hahaha...
Oh well... next week is September, and I pinky promise that Strawbearies will be active again for its "isi kepala yang berantakan" posts; hence, the hectic week coming.



Cheers...



CVB

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Blessings in Small Miracles

Hi hi...
I am sorry for a long hiatus... many things have happened. I am busy in the office as same as in the house or in the weekend. Traveling here and there, work is getting hectic, house chores are awaiting. But, I need to post this. I have owed you much since June. Not to mention what a productive July; no posts at all! Additionally, I have been missing me writing in Bahasa. So, allow me to release my secret mellow passion in terms of Bahasa Literature.
NOTE: the rest of the post will be in Bahasa *mixed

...
Berkat itu tidak perlu megah. Hanya sepotong roti atau sebuah genggaman hangat. Tidak perlu gemilang... hanya beralamatkan "selamat malam" sebelum tidur, dan sebuah selimut yang baru dicuci. Hanya itu...  

Blessings...

Ada banyak banget kejadian dalam hidup aku selama 2 bulan ini yang membuat pikiran aku tertuju sama satu hal. I am blessed...

Ada banyak Small Miracles yang terjadi. Simple sih... nggak se-wow dapat uang dari langit. Tapi, cukup bikin aku untuk berhenti sejenak dan merasa bersyukur.

Kejadian-kejadiannya nggak jauh-jauh dari ketemu orang baru ataupun ketemu orang lama. Untuk itu kita mulai dengan kejadian di Bulan Juni!

Waktu itu aku nekat ke Solo sendirian untuk menghadiri kawinan dari salah satu bestieku di Seattle dulu. Acaranya sendiri hari Sabtu, tapi aku extended sampai hari Selasa dengan alasan mau menghabiskan cuti. Aku nggak kenal orang lain di Solo selain si mempelai cewek. Well, aku pergi dengan mindset kalau aku bakal banyak menikmati a lot of my me time, explore kota Solo, dan hanya sendiri saja. Aku nggak bakal berpikir bahwa rencana yang brilian itu diporak-porandakan oleh alam semesta :)
 Aku diberi kompensasi kamar hotel semalam, dengan teman si mempelai wanita satu lagi. Kita sebut si teman ini C. C juga dari Seattle, tapi kami belum pernah ketemu sebelumnya. Si mempelai jalan sama si C ini ketika aku udah transfer ke Minneapolis. Kami (me and C) sebelumnya cuma ngobrol sebatas di WA aja, baru pertama kali ketemu pas hari H di kamar hotel. Ajaibnya, obrolan kita nggak pernah selesai. Kelihatan kalau kita berdua setipe. haha. Lalu, di acaranya sendiri, kami didudukkan satu meja yang isinya semua ada teman si mempelai wanita dan pria dari luar kota. Aku dan C akhirnya kenalan dengan teman mempelai wanita yang lain yang kita sebut E. Dalam waktu 2 atau 3 jam di pesta itu, kami bertiga sepakat kalau kita ini baru ketemu sehari, tp it tells everything. Kita langsung klop dan berjanji untuk keep maintain our friendship. Sama halnya dengan teman2 si mempelai wanita yang ada di Solo. Langsung kayak ketemu teman lama. Pembicaraan kami ngalur ngidul ke mana-mana. Dan C akhirnya extend sehari dan ikut aku pindah hotel.



Lebih beruntung lagi, kami akhirnya diajak ke luar kota, ke Tawangmangu dengan salah satu temennya si mempelai wanita yang tinggal di Solo. One day was well spent. Tawangmangu was gorgeous. Ingetin aku sama perjalanan dari Seattle ke Portland.
Keesokan harinya juga nggak kalah menarik. Akhirnya, si mempelai wanita itu bisa spend time with us. Caught up. And with that I felt so blessed!!! Perjalanan aku ke Solo ditutup dengan aku naik kereta api Indonesia pertama kali. 7 Jam di kereta. Not bad!!! I enjoyed it so much.
Kesimpulannya,  semua rencana aku batal kejadian, tapi disempurnakan dengan caranya sendiri.


Kedua, kejadiannya baru-baru aja, nggak lama. Mungkin sekitar minggu lalu. Finally, satu perusahaan aku yang punya kantor-kantor cabang kota-kota lain, akhirnya kumpul di satu tempat. Amazing. Satu peristiwa itu aja udah luar biasa menurut aku, dan ternyata apa yang terjadi di sana bener-bener bikin aku grateful. Peristiwanya adalah Gala Dinner and Gathering with all Vistarian (for the staff working in our company) sekaligus ngerayain HUT Babeh (big boss) kita. Lokasinya di klub Bunga Batu, dan semua staff dari Jakarta, Bandung, Bali, dan Surabaya diundang ke sana. Kami para manejer masih punya sedikit tugas pas di sana. Ada mini meeting yang harus kami jalanin. Lalu masuk ke big event kita yang paling ditunggu-tunggu - Gala Dinner. Beberapa rombongan kami delayed, tapi the party went on greatly! Tiap center harus perform, jadi ada total 10 atau 12 performances. Semuanya seru-seru, dan bisa dibayangin, orang yang nggak kita sangka-sangka berjoget, bisa berjoget. Semuanya get loose. Semuanya meninggalkan egonya masing-masing, dan enjoyed the night. Including our big boss. hahaha I wouldn't go into details with that. Yang paling amazing adalah pas team aku perform. Team anak Malang - Tiga Srikandi dan Satu Gatot Kaca, karena kami cuma ber4. Dibanding center-center lain, kami termasuk yang paling sedikit anggotanya. Performance kami ditaruh di bagian akhir acara entah karena alasan apa. Aku udah kebat-kebit, ciut gara2 banyak banget team yang performancenya keren-keren sampai pake power point, rekaman, kostum. Sedangkan team malang hanya bermodalkan music live itu pun kalau aku nggak kagok main piano krn belum latihan sebelumnya, poster yang kita buat juga seadanya bermodalkan karton dan spidol, dan kami cuma perform nyanyi lagu yang tak lebih dari 2 setengah menit.
Lirik lagunya kami ganti-ganti berisikan curhat dan juga sedikit bertujuan untuk lucu-lucuan saja. Intinya mewakili nestapa seluruh staff VISTA yaitu terkait dengan market dan target dan pengalaman2 waktu event aja sih. Nggak ngayal2 banget. Latian full team dengan si gatot kaca itu juga dilakukan beberapa jam sebelum acara dimulai. Perform pake musik pas detik beneran perform. Aku di titik pasrah to the max. Hahahaha, tapi yang terjadi kami yang mendapatkan sambutan yang paling meriaaaaaaah *lebay. Mugnkin gara2 kami yang terakhir, jad nggak ada lagi team yang meninggalkan ruangan untuk persiapan performance mereka, kemungkinan kedua juga gara2 lirik kami amat sangat sentimentil ke mereka hahahaha. *I feel you dear allstudent consultants... lol. I am lovin it. Bukan hanya performance kami, tp tiap momen itu sendiri. Kapan lagi, di satu ruangan isinya semua VISTARIAN yang bisa juga jadi orang-orang gokil.....Nggak ada perbedaan kalau kamu itu Driver, Manager, Student Consultant, atau Admin, we were all as O.N.E.

Lalu keesokan harinya kami ada small gathering with fun games. Nah, yang paling seru itu adalah pas acara bebas, ada sekitar 14 orang main basket di kolam renang, dan it turned out to be the most brutal game ever!! hahahaha.... bola dipegang 1 orang, direbutin 3 orang. Pokoknya kami nggak berhenti sampai ada 1 yang mati kali hahaaha.. Nope, we did not have any bad intention of course. For your information, 14 orang itu terdiri dari team malang, bandung, surabaya, dan bali... lol.
I always love togetherness. Kebersamaan. Rasanya orang yang paling melankolis pun akan setuju kalau lagi barengan itu juga menyegarkan. Apalagi kalau pas ketemu dengan orang-orang yang seru.
Oh iya, malamnya kami para managers juga ngumpul buat menyampah hahahaha.Spill the beans, we are very transparent to each other. Badmouthing.lol Ok, I won't go details for that, biarkan itu menjadi cerita kami aja.



I can conclude that those days were one of the best days ever!!!
Feel loved, giving love, enjoying every moment about it.

Kejadian-kejadian seperti itu membuat aku percaya kalau ketemu dengan bermacam-macam orang itu anugrah. Entah itu dengan orang yang cocok atau bahkan dengan orang tak cocokpun. Dari interaksi singkat atau pun panjang. Ada banyak hal yang sadar nggak sadar bisa kasih sesuatu ke kita. Dari pertemuan aku dengan orang-orang di Solo, membuat aku percaya bahwa Same feather Flocks together. Pada satu titik, kapan pun dan di manapun, ada orang-orang yang frekuensinya sama bisa dipertemukan. Di klub Bunga, aku berpendapat kalau kebersamaan itu hal berharga. Dan ketika aku bertemu orang yang kurang cocok, aku jadi bisa bercermin, dan mengambilnya sebagai contoh yang nggak mau aku ikutin. Tidak ada banyak argumen, lebih ke posisi mengamati dan mengamini bahwa ada beberapa kelakuan yang memang sebaiknya nggak dilakuin pas kita hidup di komunitas Kolektif. So, I feel blessed when I met annoying ones lol... Guess, I have met one too.. hahaha



Again, aku mau bilang kalau hal-hal kecil seperti ini nggak kalah ajaibnya sama hal-hal besar.
Count everything. and yes... give thanks...

:)




CVB

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Currently - June Edition

Whoa, it becomes a trend for me to write a 'Currently' post before the 'actual post' that I originally planned to put it up. haha.
Oh Well.
Maybe, I need to jot down things that have been happening recently to clear my mind before totally settling for the post I originally planned. It is less than 10 days before turning into July. Half way through 2016!! Can you believe it? And so much melancholy moments in the beginning of 2016, now, I am more settled, and see things more positively.

1. Traveling and traveling and traveling!!! OMG
Starts from April to the next few months, I will do a lot of traveling. Personal reasons not so much on the working sides. Working matters only about Surabaya. Not to other cities (thanks God). But, it takes a lot of time for traveling. 2 hours drive up to 3 hours drive, not to mention that I only go to Surabaya in the morning and going back at night time. It is quiet exhausting. Anyway... I am ecstatic that I am going to do more traveling for weddings. From Malaysia, to Solo, to the next destination which I will reveal it on the d-day. Just tune in. :) For these 3 people plus 1 later in Surabaya are my closest when I was in college. I am honored to be invited on their special day. I have to miss a couple of weddings in Makassar due to work and hectic schedule for the past few years, this year I finally can manage my time better, so I take a chance to travel for their special days. I am still hoping for a total leisure trip in the end of the year. I mean a trip without any work-related or wedding-related, just a pure traveling for fun. I have a couple of plans, but things can go unexpectedly. Well, Crossing fingers!!!
Soon, I will post about my last trip to Solo :)

2. Song-wise. I discover a jazz singer named Sara Gazarek, and I am a total fan of her music. Her voice similar to Sara Bareilles but with more jazzy tunes in it. Thanks to spotify and I am surprised that my account from 5 years ago still can be used.




3. less than 10 days, I am going to go home in Makassar. Finally!! I don't know why and how, but I have been missing home more these past years. Compared to when I was in US, I went home more often when I lived in Malang or Surabaya; nonetheless, I found myself more in 'homesick'  states compared to the other years when I was living in the US. Perhaps, because it takes only 2 hrs trip by plan to be home? Anyway, I am excited to see my cousins, friends, and my parents again. and of course baby Euro, Gassing, and my super Echong are waiting for me..

4. Superman returns is now with a new format by having three dads babysitting three babies. This joint baby sitting is my favoriteeeeeee. YDG is super fun to watch and who is not falling for Oh Ji Ho's sweet smile? But, to my surprise In Gyo Jin is cute as well. I love the babies too. They are soooo adorable. However, since they are still babies, more fun on the dads part. lol.

credit to KBS


5. I have been watching a current-air dramas. Meaning more updated ones. I don't wait anymore for it is to end to watch it because I might be more serious on reviewing dramas. Tho, I certainly will keep watching older dramas too. Stay tune on Let's Talk. Currently watch; Dear My Friends, Oh hae Young again, and Six Flying Dragons. I think I am having so much fun on writing blogs (or typing). More fun than the previous years (after 2011). Therefore, I think I might be more active on writing again. I am open for translation and articles writing. You may email me on cvianeybudhi@gmail,com. I can write in Bahasa and in English. But, for now, I will be focusing more on my blogs. I have been thinking to add one more blog! (seriously, Chen???) LOL. It will be about writing in Bahasa; more prose, or short stories. But still thinking about it. Nothing to serious. Managing two is hard enough. Oh well, we'll see about it.
Next on Let's Talk - Extras (Actresses Edition) and Korean Rising Stars (Actors and Actresses)



CVB

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Malaysia Bersama Kugy

Warning!: it is going to be a mixed language post ya.. Continuity of Malaysia euphoria where I spoke mixed languages; three! English, Melayu and Indonesia. Well, Melayu and Indonesia sama saja. lol

me and the malaysian guy, payung man is obvious
Setelah dari petualangan Batman 2 di Malaysia tahun 2014, aku dan sahabatku Kugy berencana untuk ke KL di bulan April tahun 2015, tapi seperti yang sudah diketahui, aku malah ke US. Rencana itu terpaksa ditunda walaupun tiket sudah kebeli. It was pretty sad, since our main point was to meet our friends in Malaysia, and it would be my first adventure with Kugy. Me and Kugy are in the group that we call Malindo 101 :) It contains my friends from University of Minnesota and Kugy who is my neighborhood friend. In short, we both agreed in the end that it was not a good time to go anyway since she had something come up as well,  We couldn't go last year, and we did not think when we could go anytime soon. The thing that we did not know that there is always another good time for it.. Well, it is just postponed. Until this year!
Exactly couple of days before my birthday, Kugy told me that one of our friends in the group was getting married, dan lucunya lagi, aku sudah membatin pada diri sendiri kalau si teman itu get married, I should go! LOL. What a conspiracy! He's my college friend, kupanggil dia Payung Man! Hehehe karena dulu, kami pernah dalam satu show ketika PERMIAS Minnesota mengadakan Indonesian Night. Kami harus mempertunjukkan tradisi pernikahan adat ala Padang. I became the mother of the bride, payung man became a payung man lol. He needed to hold an umbrella for the groom. Bisa dikatakan jadi dayang-dayang hehehe. Kita dekat jauh sebelumnya. Mahasiswa Indonesia saat itu hanya sekitar 50an, sedangkan pelajar Malaysia jumlahnya paling tidak 150an. Jadilah, kami sering meminta bantuan mereka saat kami mengadakan event. Aku pun akhirnya sering diundang saat mereka juga ada event. That's how we got closed.

It took me and Kugy only three days to decide to go to KL in the end of April. Everything went so perfect. I got a pretty decent air fare, and there we were on the April 29th met at the airport. But, before we went far into our adventure, there's always a pre-story to be told.
Tiap tempat selalu punya cerita. Oh My! And why! I have to have a drama with my flight story, at least ONCE a year, and it is the first in this year (I hope it is the last). I bought a ticket from Air Asia in April. You know what, I just got a text message at 6PM on Thursday 27th April! A day before our departure time. My original schedule was at 3.45PM an hour before Kugy's and I was supposed to arrive an hour before Kugy as well, but it turned out that I was rescheduled to the later time at 6.25 PM. Meaning I would arrive at least 1.45 hour after Kugy which was nearly midnight. It was quiet a hassle since we needed to take taxi to our place. Note, that place that we stayed is in Selangor, another state from KL. Took about 30 minutes from KL. So, I was pretty upset. I slept not really peacefully. My mind was so focus for getting an earlier flight. I arrived at Juanda (surabaya airport) at 1 PM, I rushed to Air Asia office and explained my situation. Thank God, I could be rescheduled to earlier time; 2PM! lol! 1 hour before departure. wew. But, anyway... I got through everything and finally arrived at KLIA 2 hours before Kugy's. I was Ok with it, I already prepared with a book with me, so I waited for her and finally met Kugy!! And guess what!!! the plane scheduled on 6,30PM, the one that I was supposed to take because of rescheduling, was DELAYED hahaha. Bless air asia.
Yeaay! It is my second time travelling with a friend and woo another Pisces lol. Anyway, we both arrived safely at our hotel. And our adventure was started at that very night.

Kami dijemput salah satu teman kami dan itu kali pertamanya Kugy mendengarkan aksen Malaysian English. LOL He was surely speaking pretty fast, yang terjadi I translated for both party. LOL! We slept at 2.30AM and decided to just straight going to KL for shopping. woohooo...

Malaysia is always special for me. Because it is so the same yet so different. I feel I can easily understand anything about it. The simplest thing is language. Aku nggak perlu susah-susah cari penjelasan dalam bahasa Inggris kalau misalnya cuma ada petunjuk dalam bahasa Melayu. Walaupun penggunaan kata yang dipakai tentunya berbeda, tetapi aku masih bisa paham apa maksudnya. Misalnya nih DEPARTURE alias KEBERANGKATAN jadinnya Balai Pelepasan. Food Court yang kita juga nggak pernah punya kata yang pas, dalam bahasa Melayu itu Gerai Santap. Kata-katanya masih bisa kita mengerti. Seru kan? Apalagi semua kata-kata pokok seperti jalan, kanan, kiri, tempat, dan lain-lain itu sama persis. Hanya ketika aku ngobrol sama teman Malaysiaku, aku lebih memilih kata-kata yang bukan adaptasi dari bahasa Belanda seperti kata persis itu berasal dari bahasa Belanda, tentunya orang-orang Melayu yang dijajah Inggris ini nggak ngerti hehe. Mungkin di sini aku akan lebih banyak berbicara soal sharing culture antara Indonesia dan Malaysia.
Pernikahan adat Malaysia juga tidak jauh berbeda dengan pernikahan/resepsi adat Indonesia. Akad nikahnya tentu saja sama dengan punya Indonesia. Pakaian mereka juga mirip. Pestannya sendiri lebih diisi musik bernuansa islami, dan berpantun :)



Dulu sewaktu kuliah, aku sering diundang ke acara Hari Raya (Idul Fitri)nya mereka. Jauh di tanah orang, makan nasi dengan tangan? Heaven haha. The food is similar. But, I am a big fan of their roti jala and ayam rendang ;)
Malaysia is always interesting for me. Three big races living together. They claim themselves as 'pretty racist' among themselves, lol. I used to make Malaysian anthropology as my topic paper. Our lingua franca (sharing language) is also interesting. I truly have no trouble communicating whether using Indonesian words or hearing Malaysian words.





Ah Malaysia, I am falling in love. I have promised myself to explore you more. I still have to go to Batu caves, Merdeka Square, Melaka, and Penang.
It is on my to-go-list. Perjalanan kali ini, kami lebih fokus ke temu kangen dan pernikahan sahabat kami itu. Oh and shops hehehe.Kali ini kuliner experience aku itu makan di tempat tongkrongan ala-ala food court punya anak muda yang buka sampe malam tapi makannya Bengkoang! hahahaha. Enak tapiii. Mereka bilangnya 'Sengkuang', di potong hampir berbentuk pizza mini dengan diolesi gula melaka atau gula jawa dan ditaburi irisan kacang tanah. Enak loh. Seger ala-ala rujak (sori, waktu itu ga sempet poto karena batere habis).

Curry
 Terus, pengalaman berikutnya itu makan Banana Leaf. Ini sih kebaiasaan Indian Mamak, atau Indian muslim kalau makan kari. Aslinya, kita beneran makan di daun pisang di atas meja, nasi dan kari dan lauk dicampur semua dan makannya pake tangan. :) Nah yang ketiga itu Rojak ala Penang. Nah, ini yang menurutku agak interesting. Latar belakang aku adalah Makassar dengan banyak influence dari Maluku karena orang tua aku semuanya berasal dari Maluku. Kalau kami bilang rujak ya di pikiran kami itu adalah rujak buah yang rasanya manis. Nah, setelah di Jawa baru aku tahu kalau rujak itu juga bisa digunakan untuk rujak cingur yang dimana lebih savoury. NAH, kalau di Malaysia juga begitu. Rojak a.k.a. rujak itu lebih asin.Isinya irisan mangga muda, bengkuang, gorengan, dan bisa milih mau pake telur atau ayam. Nah loh! hahaha Mereka juga ada rujak manis yang mereka specially sebut rujak manis. Sekilas Rojak ala Penang ini mirip banget sama Ddeukboki nya Oppa oppa . lol

Rojak
 I am so blessed. Karena setiap perjalanan itu aku selalu dibantu banyak orang. Punya banyak teman di mana-mana emang sangat menyenangkan. Aku beruntung banget punya teman sampai di KL. Kami jadinya sangat 'terpelihara' gagal travelling ala backpacker hahaha. Terima kasih Malaysia,
till we meet again.

with Shasha
Malindo 101 minus Jfarghali





Next on my to-go-list. Penang and Melaka :) Wait for me!
Till we meet again


CVB

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Currently Post - May edition

Oh wow! I owe you so many stories. I have prepared two posts to be released, but I have no mood to release it. Lol. Prosticanation wins. dang.
I jump to my currently mood post first. Maybe, it can help to lighten up my mood.

May does not have so much of changes. Many travellings - more towards short weekend getaway involving only meeting and eating. Not necessarily a big adventure. True to the theme of this year, I will be travelling quiet a looooot. Half of them are for weddings. Yes! Wedding bells everywhere. Hitting 27 and I am feeling a bit helpless, like something un-accomplished just yet. I am not satisfied of what I've got now. I have been asking myself... "What's next?" and the answer is so vague. I am feeling like I am in the middle of midst, unknowingly stepping forward. It is a frustrating feeling. Because if I am just doing what I have now, it feels like I am just stuck.
Have been asking .."what should I do?" "what am I supposed to do?"
Perhaps because I am facing uncertainty again?
Many things I still want to do, and I have been planning things regarding to my current situation, but at the same time I know that in the middle of year, something else will be happened again. Bah! Things are still unsure, and I just don't like it. Half of my self wants to move forward already, but I am fully aware that I have to stay steady and make a move or do something when the time is right. Oh just another 'wait'
Bear with me Chen... bear with me...

Anyway, May! It is less than a week before it is June.
Half way trough 2016. wew

Currently
1. I have watched too many suspense/thriller less romance drama. I am feeling like ready for a romance drama again, but what a bummer I can't sit down steadily for anew drama that I am about to watch. My heart still seeks for mystery to be solved.

2. My reading ambition is also in halt. Sticks with 7 books in total for the #menuju20buku2016

3. in a full attempt to get back to 60Kg again and try to post blog regularly. Check Let's Talk, a bi-weekly blog about reviews of anything.

I owe my story in KL and a new series that I have been working on :)



Cheers!!!
CVB

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Being 27

Before I start, let me take this chance to express my gratitude to those who drop birthday wishes on social media, threw me a party, and sent me presents or lovely messages. All well received :) Thank you once again... :)

I just turned 27 about 10 days ago. I am not a type of person (or woman) who hesitates to say about age. Age for me is a measurement; how well I am doing, how much I have learned, how far I may go. For me, being 27 is another special turning point. I just realize one thing when I turned 27. 27 is an odd number, not young, not old. 27 is the first mark entering late twenty, don't you agree?Three more years, and I am entering the 30s-hood. Some say that life starts at 30. I can't picture it in my head just yet. Am I still here fighting all alone, be a daddy's girl at home, or... something else. Let the future be the unwritten page. Nevertheless, can I say that turning 27 is special?
What special about me turning 27 is, just three days before my birthday, I got to meet three different people who asked me similar questions. All leading to the future me. It is like preparing me to construct what my future could be.
First person that I met was my very boss. I got to do a presentation in front of him on that Friday. I could say that it was an evaluation. His saying about me was striking me right in the heart. He always has this punctuality about his staff. At least it always works on me. I could bear working at his company and reaching my current position was all because of him saying that I had to trust myself and should not be afraid of rejections. I could say he might not be perfect, but he has own gig about observing people, and I respected him for that. After the presentation, we had a small heart-to-heart conversation. Despite my headache, we conducted pretty casual conversation (not work-related topics) and there he was giving me questions; "what is your future plan?", "will you work on the company again?" Giving you a little background for those who haven't known, my papo owns a small firm in Makassar and people do expect me to go back to him and work with him. Of course, it is on my agenda and that's what I told my boss about my plan in the next two years. However, secretly wishing that it will be my last-last plan. Meaning, if I do not longer get any other great opportunity, or if I am not getting married (let's say) with people who are not from Makassar, I might go home by that time. I make my father turning 65 as my turning point as well. That's what I told him. He nodded acknowledge-ly since he knew my family, and what situations we have been through. He said that, it was OK for me to go back to my father, though, he would be happy if I still stay with him. I smiled contentedly. I was glad that he was the first one that wake me up. He said that I needed to have a goal. Humbly say to you that I have been living my life after moving to Malang kinda un-purposely. Not intentionally, but because I just don't know what I am going to do. He, on that day, activated my brain to have goal again, to dream again.
Just like story in novel or drama where you are going to meet people on the same day that has similar purpose, I met a second person who gave me more insights. It is like building a story up. The second person that I met was giving me another chance, another hope. She's a parent from a student that I once helped. She's been trying to keep in touch with me (reminds me of mambo), she gave me another perspective about going home and back to papo's company. There's a little concern on her voice that I rarely found from other people. Others might tell me to go back as soon as possible, she said the opposite. She told me that why don't I take another chance? Like working in the international corporation? Suddenly, it sounds promising. Suddenly, I don't want to go back just yet. I said to her that I am still open to opportunities, but to work at a company like the one I am working is mostly no. However, if there is another chance, I will take a look at it deliberately. She said that 27 is still a young age. She added that "it is good to have your own company, but you are still young, you can go anywhere you like, you can learn much more" and she's right.
Lastly, on the very same day, I finally got to meet my aunt who came from the Nederland. She's my papo's older sister. She took care of us, nieces and nephews, daringly. On the bed, she talked to me like a real family would converse. A traditional suggestion, at the same time a loving one :). She was worrying about me having my own family. I haven't shown any signs of in a relationship. Many guys I have brought home, but they only are friends. She's not the type of annoying tante who pushes me to get married. She only advised that I should pray sincerely and she's willing to be a match-maker haha. No, she's not the type of annoying tante-tante who just gives you meaningless advise or just wooshing around saying I should be married now. Nope. She did it sincerely. I was grateful about that. The short conversation that we had in the dark gave me a blissful feeling. In the end, what I want is to be secured, settling down, and how to get it? It will be a great adventure to follow.
Papo has said to me and to my boss when I first recruited in Surabaya. He said that he would be OK whether I continue on my own path or I choose to go back. He clearly said that I don't need to come back to his company if I wish to. He kept his own word. Many people have guessed that he want me to come back, but after I discussed this matter to him again, he said the same thing with what he had said before. I am OK to continue on my career.
I should take this seriously. I just consciously knew that I haven't taken my future seriously. I may say that I am too absorbed of current situations, but not in a good way. I can say that I am in my comfort zone and stays there waiting for the future calling me which is not how it works. I have to pursue the future. Setting what I really want to do.
But again, in the end of the day, what we set is not settled by our own will. There must be a conspiracy within the universe, and it will do if it sees through our efforts. Work on it Chen. I can only take a rosary and pray for our limitations as human. Life is a scenario and God is a director. It is always like that isn't it?
Ah, after three months of gloomy me, I can see where this year takes me. Everything does happen because of reasons. Meeting these people, all these thoughts, all the gloominess, all came together in the end, so thank you once again..

I had a blast. People wishes, birthday presents, little not-so-surprised party, elmo cupcakes, and a lovely lovely lovely  love-card from my 93 year old opaaaa... It is amazing that he can still writes, and can give me the best immunity for a 27 year old me.



He made me realize one thing that all this long I never been alone. People kept coming to assist me, to guide me, to let me take my own lead of my own game, and on top of that, yes I still have that BIG DIRECTOR up there... Ok PDnim (just like South Korean addresses director), give me roles. 


CVB


Monday, April 4, 2016

Hey (dear) April - Currently post

I can't believe myself that I did not post anything in March. Not because I did not feel well. Things are gradually getting better to tell you the truth. More challenges. But I think it is gonna be a fun ride.

So here are my currently post.
Lee Seo Jin
Choi Jin Woong
1. Just to put an accalmation mark on how I like Lee Seo jin!!! More of ahjussi fans these days. Including Choi Jin Woong who stars in Signal, the recent drama that I finished. God Bless Kim Won Suk he is just one genius director alive. Apparently, Misaeng and Signal remind me of my very own sinetron (indonesian soap opera) titled D.T.K Dunia Tanpa Koma. It is a story about journalist world and drugs dealer. It was pretty solid. The casts are just amazing. However, it was a shame that the production is not continued as it was planned because the rating hit low. Come on!! Peeps wake up, dont' just watch those shitty shows on tv these days. I haven't been enjoying Indonesian tv shows for the past 5 years. It is purely a shame. Too much shitty, too much teasing, too shallow.


2. Many things are happened in Indonesia. Plastic bag costs Rp 200 per pieces, LGBT is going to be legally banned, and more blurs on TV because of cleavage and topless man. hahahaha ahhh... that's my country. Hopefully our generation and our president can do something about this very soon.

3. I am more and more excited about 2016. More traveling plans are set but not without challenge. It seems like one plan go one plan down. Consequences are awating. But I find it is interesting and challenging. I somehow feel high-spirited. Waiting for the actual things happen. does it go like planned, or does it go better than the original plans. we just never know.

4. Can't stop hearing 'History' by One direction. lol



5. I am officially an alien. I am not a big fan of the Decendants of the Sun. Yeah you can curse on me. My heart and soul is for UEE and Lee Seo Jin in Marriage Contract. I was so melted by episode 9. It can't go any romantic than 'trying-to-hold-on-more-on-your-hand' and a peck on a cheek while crying. lol


And It is April!!!
Hey dear April, my favorite month. I know you have been treating me well each year and I have a little hope for you to give me some magical April this year. You are exciting, and flowers bloom making the scenes prettier. Can't wait to see what is going to happen. You know that I will be traveling a lot again this year (within April). What is going to give me? Looking forward to it.



CVB