Saturday, October 26, 2013

The arts of "Ketidakpastian" - Kita

kespastian adalah salah satu hal yg ingin kita cari.  sebaliknya lawan kata kepastian, ketidak pastian adalah salah satu hal yg ingin kita hindari. 
Namun, kini aku bertemu denganmu dan lalu aku sadar bahwa segala sesuatu tentang kita adalah ketidakpastian. 
Satu yg pasti, kamu awalnya hanya hadir dlm bentuk pengandaian yg tak berwujud. Hanya sebuah konsep. Celetukan yg.entah datang dr mana. 
Satu yg pasti, kehadiranmu yg nyata di hadapanku saat itu adalah sebuah euphoria. Aku tidak pernah menyangka bahwa kamu ada. nyata. dalam bentuk padat. Hanya semalam aku mengandaikan kamu tanpa pernah bertemu denganmu. 
Satu yg pasti, aku menikmati segala sesuatu tentang kamu yg nyata. tatapanmu salah satunya. 
Satu yg pasi, aku menikmati percakapan yg kita lakukan hingga akhir td. 
Satu yg pasti, selepas peninggalanmu, aku kembali sadar akan ketidakpastian. 
Satu yg pasti, aku akan mengabadikan tatapanmu, senyumanmu, bunyi2an yg kau keluarkan saat berpikir, dan namamu. 
Karena "kita" adalah "ketidakpastian"


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hujan pertama 
dan listrik pun padam 

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Colors of the life

Halfway through the second month of working.

I hope it's not too late to tell you about this job.
I had no idea that I would be here today, working in this company. The same company that helped me to go to U.S.A
Is it coincidence that I happened to be their client, and now I am the one who's dealing with client? People may think there's nepotism or 'political' going on... I tell you, it happens to be this way.

My current position is called "Student Consultant" Yup, it's involving STUDENT AGAIN. That means, I am in the educational field ONCE again! The thing here, it's not fully learning-teaching activities, more about consulting Telling which school is a good fit for them... Though, not gonna lie, there's a need of marketing skill here. Anyway, this current job makes me feel that I am attending a so called Graduate school. I am learning by doing research myself and practicing at the same time. Learning about one school with one country's immigration regulation, then presenting to parents. It's more likely a graduate program in Marketing and Consulting, and may I add in observing.
Second day of working was a big expo. Weeks afterward were all about school expos and school presentations. Not to mention the work trip. I got to go home - Makassar after a month working for school expo in Dian Harapan. It's a day trip! Nevertheless, it was paid by company, and one more trip to home next week, it's gonna be longer. The fun is not end, next month, will be a big road trip. Hell yeah.
To begin with, school expos and presentations allowed me to observe more about the characteristics of schools, teachers, and students. I did go to National plus/ International school, new schools, Christian schools, and Catholic schools. The characteristics between National Plus, Christian and Catholic schools are distinct in general. Students in National school are somehow more active, but seem not having a traditional Asian way of respecting older people. It's simply like Western attitude, not saying that they are not respectful, but you may understand after you experience it by yourself. Christian school's students are also critical, but somehow they don't have discipline. They were talking while we're presenting and everything is organized by teachers, which is OK. Students in Catholic schools are having this high pride somehow. haha. Looks a bit carefree(cuek) in term of asking questions. However, one school expo that I had been to, it was organized by students, and I was amazed by it. It was kinda reminding me of how I was in High school.
I am also fascinated going to Catholic schools. It has this same feeling with my almamater (I went to Catholic school as well). They pretty much have a big sports field, cross with corpus is everywhere, Mother Mary Statue, and Angelus prayer at noon. Christian schools are pretty much similar to Chatolic schools, but more modern compared to Catholic schools. National plus/international school is simply 'RUKO', I may say. Not so much outdoor field, more indoors, smaller classroom and nicer bath room hahahaha. I personally just go traditional. I will put my trust of my children into missionaries school if I have one. Safe and sound.
Enough for that, back to my job. The overall climate in the office gits me well do far. I dont need to wear uniform. I can wear jeans and t-shirt on Saturdays. There will be no fashion police telling not supposed to wear leggings because parents said so... "iiih I disgusted thinking about it. duh". Every regulation is real and rational.
We are free to choose when we want to take a break. We all are responsible of our freedom.
And as the job itself, I sometimes need to do a lot of phone calls, and take a lot of phone calls. What I think the most exciting part is when they are really coming for a consultation. I enjoy the consultation part, but frankly, I still need a lot of learning in close dealing. Well, it's a 'master program' anyway. I am learning :D
The job description reminds me of Academic Adviser in U.S.A. I had a privilege to meet one beautiful lady to be my adviser for about two and a half year of my college life in Seattle. Erin Walker. The name that I keep my respect to, and the third biggest loss I had after losing my mom and my uncle this year. She passed away last July, and I was desperately frustrated (excuse my choice of words) However, I have made a promise to myself that I would work hard and be like her. It may sound a little too ambitious, but I'd like to have students who feels that they get enough help from me just what I always think about her. She did her job nicely and did have a personal connection to each student that she had handled. She showed no pessimist attitude, but lead me in the correct way. As a result, transferring to UofM was the best decision I had made so far. It was all because of her help. I still remember when once I told her about my plan transferring there, she hummed and paused for a while thinking the right word to say. "hmm... well... it's nice there. It's so white. So American. So different from here, but you have a possibility going there" :) It made me smile, and gave me tears at the same time. She took a big part in my support system and losing her and my mom in the same year makes it so hard. I feel like being tortured because they are gone when they're most needed. There're times that I want to take my phone and send a text to my mom asking for advice. Asking what she thinks about what I did to this client, about how to deal with that client, how to deal with "that matter". She is a born marketer, she did a great job in selling, and she had this sense to know 'good and bad people. Literally.
I would like to send a Facebook message to Erin asking about schools in America.I bet she would be very proud knowing that I am doing a similar job to hers. Nonetheless, God always gives out test to know how good we are doesn't He? He took all the help tools, thinking that I am fully furnished, and let me walking half blind. It reminds me of Dumbledore's death. He arranged his death after telling Harry Potter the big plot, but not the detail in the hope that Harry will learn and fully understood of what he will reach. I know it's best to figure out things by ourselves. It's hard. and I feel frustrated sometimes. But again,yes, God has planned things beautifully. He did really prepare me through all those teaching experience, studying abroad, and those people who helped me the most.
 Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it - Dumbledore, Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling.
Here I am... all alone, with a little marketing skills of my mom's, a little advising skills of Erin's, and a little help of my psychology and working experience ready to face this whole scene.
Like an old Indonesian pop Song - Warna
Dalam kumencoba mengejari cita. Aneka warna nan menawan di jiwa
Cinta teman setia menolong segala
Terima kasih kuucapkan padamu.  - Warna, Sheila Majid

Can be meant; In trying to reach our dream, there's always colors surround us. One of the colors is love of loyal friends.
and for me it's them. My mom, and Erin... :) They are my colors. Will always be here... in my heart. coloring the grey area of my heart.
Bright and sincere, Erin Walker ... you are loved





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