When we are about to move forward, one thing to prepare ourselves is "looking forward"
I know I keep bringing up a series of classic sayings about life lesson. haha. I just want to keep reminding myself.
What I mean about "looking forward" is try to appreciate what I have left and prepare to welcome new adventures. Aside from setting goals, this is quiet important as well, especially when you are like me, a person who keep looking back, begging for the closed door to be opened and everything will be the same again. It's like an endless hope that is going to drag me back, slowing my pace in this world which I want to avoid. Life keeps turning. Time keeps ticking. I need to move forward. I believe you are all agree with me.
About this "closed door" situation. I want to confess that at the minute I felt that there would be some changes; I, myself, keep hoping that "nothing will change." I prevented myself to accept changes that then was going to happen. I consciously realized that my surrounding was changing in order to help me moving forward. But, I., myself, avoided it. Even ignored it. Things finally changed and I was wasting my energy, mind, and time to just keep that Precious moment. Avoided the changes even though it's already changed. I just keep praying to be back in time where everything seemed so perfect. A friend who cared about me, countless unexpected meetings, thoughtful sharing, and deep confession. It was just like a dream. Nonetheless, people changed. I needed to change, that's why that whole fairy tale needed to come to an end. I feel like "Someone" tried to tell me that in order to move forward, I needed somebody else to be on my journey. It worked the same way around. That person perhaps needed somebody else to be on his/her journey. It's cruel, but that's what I thought.
I am sure, you can imagine when a relationship (friendship) countered some turbulence, everything would not be the same. It took time to fully recover. And once more, I wasted too much of energy to hope that it's going to be the same... soon.
It keeps me forgetting that I have many people around me that also care about me that much or even more. At this moment on, I decided to just see what I am facing. People that are in front of me, around me, and ready for me. I know it's sad that one particular chapter must came to an end, but I am sure enough that there's plenty of chapters await for me. It simply makes me smile ... twice.
One because I was a fool, two because now I know where to go.
Yep... I just look at you... whoever you are. You who will embrace me. You who will listen to my stupid stories. You who will help me deciding things. You who will answer my phone calls.
and I am ready to love you.... whoever you are. Friends that are ready for me. Friends that are well aware that I am ready for them too. I am ready to embrace you. I will listen to your stupid stories. I will help you on deciding things if necessary. I will answer your phone calls.
Still, I am thankful with the closed chapters including whoever that was in that journey.
CVB
No comments:
Post a Comment