Don't know what happened recently, but again, my brain generates memories about Minneapolis.
I am tired of telling you that once again those memories coming again. However, I think everything is happened for a reason. There is something that is needed to be done, to be solved, to be conciliated. It was a beautiful experience overall to be concluded. Nonetheless, there were also some flaws. But, in the end, if I may make a conclusion, I am :"school-sick"
Specifically, I miss moments of college. University life. What's so nice about it? I can't even say. Additionally, it's only a year experience, but it gives too deep impression.
My university life was short, I spent 2 and a half year in community college back in Seattle. It was nice, and it made me well prepared for my university life. However, my university life started in January 8th 2010. It was minus 25 degrees, winter time. I only wore 3 layers of cloth because I could not imagine how cold the winter was. I just knew that Minnesota has the worst winter, but how worst? Not too worst, I could still survive for 2 winters.
I stayed at Centennial hall, one of the student residences in UofM. I got to meet cool girls on my hall way, and met a very special friend, my super CA, Katie DiSalvi (now Katie Weiseman). Had a very fun time with PERMIAS and PERSISMA (Malaysian students in Minnesota). Found a wonderful community in Newman Center, though I missed my Sundays at 7 people in Seattle (Seattle Newman choir, for 7pm mass).
My first semester was Spring Semester, I remember that I had classes in all three campuses, got my morning and evening classes as well. I had my Asian-American History class in westbank, my animal science class in St. Paul Campus, and the rest of classes in East Bank. My adviser was named Elisabeth. She was nice, but my love was for Erin Walker (Shoreline community adviser). She was the one that helped me to go to University of Minnesota. One of the decision that I always be grateful for. That Spring as well was my first Indonesian Festival. I got to play angklung and joined band named SUMRINGAH BAND (Smiling band) haha. It was a good memory indeed. However, I was not really hanging out with them.
First summer in Minneapolis was the first time I went to Mall of America. I did not have much time during Spring time. Perhaps, I was too serious with school. I soent most of my time in the dorm and in no time I just realized how fat I was going to be.
In that Summer, I decided to lose weight, and exercised regularly as well. It was also my first time experiencing watching outdoor cinema in front of Coffman Hall.
Summer in Minneapolis was when everybody was out with their bicycles. I did not know how to ride one, two of my good friends always rode their bikes slowly to fit my walking pace. We usually went church together or went for lunch or dinner. It was just the three of us because the other Indonesians were going back to Indonesia or doing some internships.
Fall was when everything seemed too perfect. I lost nearly 7 kg at that time, got my first job as a front desk, and took video production class where we spent most of our class time in studio making videos. Yes, in that Fall, I was falling in love. A nice experience to change Chendani. I was not the same. He gave me too much perspectives that widened my eyes. He told me to think of other's perspective, let me know who I really was, accompanied me in almost every occasion, we encouraged each other when we had exams, exchanged thoughts, could not express more. At the same time, I met other great friends and hung out with cool people. I was also joining Peer Minister in Minnesota Newman Center, one of my dreams. Those people helped me re-discover myself, and made me realize what's good and bad about me.
Spring in 2011 was the toughest time. I was not talking with one of my closest friend, made my last semester was like hell. At the same time, I did not want to graduate. I felt clueless and had not enough time. I wanted more. While I did not talk with that person, I became closer with other friends. They even made my final "final week" was memorable. I always got invaders in my dorm room in final weeks. They thought it was convenient to study until late and walked to exam the next morning. Not forgetting, my good good friend, my fellow senior who went through that senior syndrome together. Without them, I could be broken into pieces.
Finally, May 2011, I felt too loved. I was the only one who graduated from College of Liberal Arts, but more than half of Indonesian friends were there along with my mom and her wheelchair, my handsome dad, and my cool uncle from California. They made me feel loved and special. However, I did not realize that my problem has made me become someone who hurt them. My problems; jeallousy, insecurity, have made me becoming so selfish sometimes.
It was pretty bad. Tho, I survived Summer 2011 and finally decided going home. In the end, Minneapolis becomes a wonderful experience but the scars have been made. Happy or not, they are there. I am not sad nor I regret things that happened. I do feel guilty, but again, Minneapolis has been my mixer bowl which has made me better with the happiness and sadness. It was one of my biggest life-change moments. Cant agree more that moved to Minneapolis was one of the greatest thing in my life. I am still feeling the same way...
So thank you thank you thank you
I know it is silly to blabber about this now. It has been 3 years after I left; however, it is good to look back sometimes. And I dare to see the past.
PS: After dare to see past, I talked to one of my good friends who used to be very closed to me, and I feel relieved...
☺
He mysteriously knows how to make me feel better...
All is well...
CVB
