Humble Mumble

There are three things that have no failure in making me cry...
1. Watching good choir or concert
These are my medicines. Especially when it talks about vocal division, accoustic, and choir. When I am sad, hearing this can make me healed.
So I was crying for good...

2. Family movies
These are my supplements... Whenever I watched this kind of movie, I am reminded. I am growing... Feeling the warmth again... Recharging in other words.

The Ultimate Gift

My Father - Daniel Henney

3. Remembering 2 people...
No surprise that whenever I am thinking about mambo, tears will tag along. No harm. It should happen that way shouldn't it.
Number two, surprisingly, it took me over a year. I cried whenever remember this person. Not that person is hurting me nor do we have a special relationship. Nothing was special. Only a good friend. I call this... Reminiscing tear.
Sadness, happiness, and other feelings are meeting together and melting in one point.

However... there was a time when I cried louder more than everything I have been trough. It took even longer than when I lost my mom...
It was when my phone accidentally erased the last thread of my mom's messages. It was like losing my mom again. It doubled the pain. Whenever I read those messages, I felt like my mom was talking again to me, but then... it's all gone... I dont know how to explain my feeling other than heart broken.
I cried out loud like losing another person. I think I cried for about 30-40 minutes.
Silly me...

Oh well... then my father (always succeeds) says to me that "There was no coincidence for things to be happened - everything happened because of a reason"
He added... "Maybe there's something happened on her (mom's) journey when you still read and reminisce your conversation"
It might be just a little way to calm me down.
However, I do believe that there is always a reason of something to be happened.
And... I try to let those precious messages be in my mind and my heart. Remembering as a love message.

I am sorry that this year's post is all about my lost.
I ask for your understanding that I am trying hardly to get over this...
Moving on step by step... by remembering, by telling stories, and by sharing my feeling...


 On May 3rd 2013, it's my mom's 100th day...
Can't help but still reminding my self...
"she's been released..."


CVB