I just turned 27 about 10 days ago. I am not a type of person (or woman) who hesitates to say about age. Age for me is a measurement; how well I am doing, how much I have learned, how far I may go. For me, being 27 is another special turning point. I just realize one thing when I turned 27. 27 is an odd number, not young, not old. 27 is the first mark entering late twenty, don't you agree?Three more years, and I am entering the 30s-hood. Some say that life starts at 30. I can't picture it in my head just yet. Am I still here fighting all alone, be a daddy's girl at home, or... something else. Let the future be the unwritten page. Nevertheless, can I say that turning 27 is special?
What special about me turning 27 is, just three days before my birthday, I got to meet three different people who asked me similar questions. All leading to the future me. It is like preparing me to construct what my future could be.
First person that I met was my very boss. I got to do a presentation in front of him on that Friday. I could say that it was an evaluation. His saying about me was striking me right in the heart. He always has this punctuality about his staff. At least it always works on me. I could bear working at his company and reaching my current position was all because of him saying that I had to trust myself and should not be afraid of rejections. I could say he might not be perfect, but he has own gig about observing people, and I respected him for that. After the presentation, we had a small heart-to-heart conversation. Despite my headache, we conducted pretty casual conversation (not work-related topics) and there he was giving me questions; "what is your future plan?", "will you work on the company again?" Giving you a little background for those who haven't known, my papo owns a small firm in Makassar and people do expect me to go back to him and work with him. Of course, it is on my agenda and that's what I told my boss about my plan in the next two years. However, secretly wishing that it will be my last-last plan. Meaning, if I do not longer get any other great opportunity, or if I am not getting married (let's say) with people who are not from Makassar, I might go home by that time. I make my father turning 65 as my turning point as well. That's what I told him. He nodded acknowledge-ly since he knew my family, and what situations we have been through. He said that, it was OK for me to go back to my father, though, he would be happy if I still stay with him. I smiled contentedly. I was glad that he was the first one that wake me up. He said that I needed to have a goal. Humbly say to you that I have been living my life after moving to Malang kinda un-purposely. Not intentionally, but because I just don't know what I am going to do. He, on that day, activated my brain to have goal again, to dream again.
Just like story in novel or drama where you are going to meet people on the same day that has similar purpose, I met a second person who gave me more insights. It is like building a story up. The second person that I met was giving me another chance, another hope. She's a parent from a student that I once helped. She's been trying to keep in touch with me (reminds me of mambo), she gave me another perspective about going home and back to papo's company. There's a little concern on her voice that I rarely found from other people. Others might tell me to go back as soon as possible, she said the opposite. She told me that why don't I take another chance? Like working in the international corporation? Suddenly, it sounds promising. Suddenly, I don't want to go back just yet. I said to her that I am still open to opportunities, but to work at a company like the one I am working is mostly no. However, if there is another chance, I will take a look at it deliberately. She said that 27 is still a young age. She added that "it is good to have your own company, but you are still young, you can go anywhere you like, you can learn much more" and she's right.
Lastly, on the very same day, I finally got to meet my aunt who came from the Nederland. She's my papo's older sister. She took care of us, nieces and nephews, daringly. On the bed, she talked to me like a real family would converse. A traditional suggestion, at the same time a loving one :). She was worrying about me having my own family. I haven't shown any signs of in a relationship. Many guys I have brought home, but they only are friends. She's not the type of annoying tante who pushes me to get married. She only advised that I should pray sincerely and she's willing to be a match-maker haha. No, she's not the type of annoying tante-tante who just gives you meaningless advise or just wooshing around saying I should be married now. Nope. She did it sincerely. I was grateful about that. The short conversation that we had in the dark gave me a blissful feeling. In the end, what I want is to be secured, settling down, and how to get it? It will be a great adventure to follow.
Papo has said to me and to my boss when I first recruited in Surabaya. He said that he would be OK whether I continue on my own path or I choose to go back. He clearly said that I don't need to come back to his company if I wish to. He kept his own word. Many people have guessed that he want me to come back, but after I discussed this matter to him again, he said the same thing with what he had said before. I am OK to continue on my career.
I should take this seriously. I just consciously knew that I haven't taken my future seriously. I may say that I am too absorbed of current situations, but not in a good way. I can say that I am in my comfort zone and stays there waiting for the future calling me which is not how it works. I have to pursue the future. Setting what I really want to do.
But again, in the end of the day, what we set is not settled by our own will. There must be a conspiracy within the universe, and it will do if it sees through our efforts. Work on it Chen. I can only take a rosary and pray for our limitations as human. Life is a scenario and God is a director. It is always like that isn't it?
Ah, after three months of gloomy me, I can see where this year takes me. Everything does happen because of reasons. Meeting these people, all these thoughts, all the gloominess, all came together in the end, so thank you once again..
I had a blast. People wishes, birthday presents, little not-so-surprised party, elmo cupcakes, and a lovely lovely lovely love-card from my 93 year old opaaaa... It is amazing that he can still writes, and can give me the best immunity for a 27 year old me.
He made me realize one thing that all this long I never been alone. People kept coming to assist me, to guide me, to let me take my own lead of my own game, and on top of that, yes I still have that BIG DIRECTOR up there... Ok PDnim (just like South Korean addresses director), give me roles.
CVB
