No Need to be Someone Else

Nowadays, I jsut realize that there's a space in our lifetime when we are going to fit ourselves in a place where we need to be like someone else...
Despite the saying "we are ourselves" or "be yourself" is written in every inch of our room, there might be a time when the adjective called "insecurity" is coming like a virus. Nowhere to be seen, but it feels stronger time by time. In short, we are going, voluntarily or not,  to be just like somebody else.

In life, the line between positive and negative is very thin. So thin until it can be seen as two sides. Too positive sometimes leads us to be something that is too negative. For instance, I was trying to find inspirations to motivate me to keep going... but, in the end, I just tried soo hard to be like them... to be someone else. I forgot who I am... what are my abilities, I only focused on my weaknesses. I was trying to compete in every way to be better... I don't respect myself. I felt like I am worse than anybody else. Feeling rejected in one particular matter... Not having a boyfriend yet is one of the factors... Stupid eh?

Yes, this adjective or may I call virus called "insecurity" is infected me as well... infecting my brain till I am feeling like a moron. In the end, I am doing something not sincerely. Doing something in order to be "seen". Ah... that's it... :)
I am telling you how stupid I am hahahahha...

Well, accepting it is one of the ways to be smarter..
though, I cannot guarantee that I will not be in this kind of situation, but at least I can be more aware...

So here I am...
Happy or not...  "Sipit", tall, a single daughter, a daddy girl, have a mother who has been fighting against illness, not too "this" not too "that", a Catholic, a Chinese - Indonesian

This is me...

CVB

Dreams (please) come true

New Moon New Light... when air is fresh so does one's mind...
Heart is purified with everything new...
New Calendar New Dew ...
Even the mosquito bites sound so crisp and never been so bothering...
Dream a little dream...

Muehe... pasti pada terheran-heran dengan opening dari postingan ini. Mungkin ada yang mikir "ini orang kenapa lagi?" hahahahaa
Engga tahu itu inspirasi dari mana and please... I don't even have a name for it hehehe... Yang pasti Bulan Juni terasa asyiiiik...
Me Life in 2012 is quiet funny...
Jan was started roughly,
February was pretty OKAY,

March was gloomy, and

April started to bloom... and then...

MAY was not really OKAY... Too many stuff to do... too many things happened in one time... mommy was not okay, my mind went wild, and I gained and lost weight interchangeably (mind my outrageous choice of words hehehe)

June oh June... I hope good things are coming trough... Let me drown myself into my gleaming dreams...where I am looking at Grotto in Portland, Seeing Seattle from Queen Ann, Eating Piroshky and other good stuff at Pike Place Market. Zipping a 16oz of Jamba Juice Very Berry at the Coffman Memorial Union, Eating roasted garlic ice cream at Sebastian Joe's, seeing Capital building at St. Paul, posing with Snoopy and friends at St. Paul park, attending mass at Newman Center. Or let me see myself on the streets of Seoul, eating street foods, shop till drop, blogging, and falling in love with everything about Dae Han Mingguk...
Let me still live in my dream where my fingers typing those words on my keyboard, and having sun shines trough the windows, let me do it with a companion of a hot chocolate at the side. Ah writing. I love the sound of keyboards when I typed. As much as I enjoyed putting my thoughts into words. Hopefully, I can get to do this more... more... and more... :)
I am still in my dream when I see slates, lighting, director chair, people running here and there, listening to some "action!" and "cut"... see my name on the credit as a script writer. And I see you... with little angels running around and throw themselves on my feet, hugging them like a sturdy teddy bear. ah dream a little dream... always gives sparks into life...

Now...
I only see my small fingers and my long trembling feet... alone they are so small... but strong enough to help me moving. reaching those dreams... yes indeed...
I believe that these might be coming true..
Long time a goooo when the song "So Young" and "Would you be happier" were booming, this 'once little girl' was hearing to a song titled "Haste to the Wedding" by the Corrs... she was dancing in her head on a huge stage. This might be around junior and high school years... 6 or 7 years ago... And then.. those pictures about this 'once little girl' sleeping in her head... and then... suddenly a friend of her asked her to dance for a big event in the history of Catholic Church in Makassar. Last June 2nd, our diocese celebrated 75th year of missions... I got three parts. Three of them were dancing. However, the last part, we were dancing to represent the modern days of the Church. and guess what! the song was "Haste to the Wedding" and it was a HUGE STAGE with 6000+++ pairs of eyes watching... lalalalalaaaa
It was a 2 minutes song, but I felt sooo thrilled! and excited! not nervous...  it was a beautiful beautiful moment!
only a subtle desire when I pictured me dancing in my head...
it turned out to be a reality. a fact.
a supported content to say.. "yes.. Dreams do come true"

this whole dreaming theme excites me even more. attracts me like a magnet poles. Both positive and negative... hahaha...

STOP thinking!
Just do it!
but.... do it with a purified heart... no such greed will help. only a true desire and passion with no such cruel intention will do...

Happy Dreaming...
 


CVB

These are the glimpse of the celebration...

The Birthday Cake!!! needs 6 people to bring this hahaha

6000+++

our sanctuary