Thanksgiving Note - #28GoingStrong

Hey you little survivor,
Congratulations for being alive and live to this very moment. I know this year is began with some darkest cloud towards in the middle of the year, but you are still surviving, and not neglecting life. Thank you for fighting even though you fell, got pushed, and alone
, you still woke up. Bruised, but keep going.

Thank you for the lit in your heart that you keep holding no matter how big the wind blows, you still have that light of faith. That everything will be OK.

Hey you little survivor,
I am grateful that you are not giving up even if you actually can give up.
I am grateful that you are still faithfully believe in me, and still in love with me.
I am grateful that you are back to your true self after all the things happened to you.
I am grateful that you are being you...

Sincerely,
Life...

#attitudeforgratitute

CVB

New Year - New Spirit

New year.
New responsibilities.
New challenges.
New page.
and perhaps new hair cut.

But now, let's take a look back to 2016.
As I have repeated and scattered around the posts here in there, 2016 was a year full of surprises. The bad ones and also the good ones. It was a year of evolving. It was exactly like an apprentice got a harsh training, when she passed the test, there's a reward, but then the trainer gave a little twist here and there. Crazy. It was one full of many emotions.

First half of 2016 was incredibly harsh. I got traumatised by an event in February 2016 which I could not go into details. By June, everything is starting to go into places. However, things are still unsure. The fate of Malang office was ambiguous throughout 2016. Not to mention, my plan to go to South Korea was also in the shaky place.
I was trying not to expect too much in the end of the day. A bit mellow here and there. But, I got my supporters behind me :) Especially my Tiga Srikandi. I am salute. They were strong enough even though they got such a blurred future as well.

Tiga Srikandi

By the smeared of faith, I got through 2016, and November was the peaks of almost everything. I got my visa approved to South Korea a week before departure. Furthermore, I got a call a day before I got my long vacation. The answer that Malang team seek was finally revealed, but not without surprise. I was asked to move to Surabaya, Malang office will keep going and still under my supervision. What a twist. I never imagined that the end of our road would be like that.

Therefore, here I am typing from Surabaya, exactly a month after my replacement. Meaning, 2017 started off fresh. New things, new responsibilities, new circumstances, new hair cut I may add. I passed 2016 with a lot of repressed emotion. I was over-whelmed for even the last days of 2016, it still gave me little surprise. However, I was not letting it to stir my faith in life. Faith about believing one heart says. No matter how hard my heart feels in grief, there is still a calamity in it. Strange, but it is what it is.

2016 was indeed a year of twists and weddings and a lot of flying. From a wedding in Kuala Lumpur, a bridesmaid in Medan, another wedding in Jakarta, and my bestie's wedding in Surbaya and Solo. Fiuh!!! Lots of weddings indeed.

Cacuk's day - Kuala Lumpur

Elvina - Solo

Eriko - Jakarta

Ket2 - Surabaya

Nevertheless, I couldn't lie that 2016 also gave me a lot of second chances! A chance to repair an old wound, a taste of simple love, a reminder for giving in, a dream or two coming true. At least, I got to go to South Korea. It meant a lot despite the unfortunate event involving losing money, it wouldn't lessen my gratitude towards life. 2016 has prepared me for a bigger me in 2017. It knew that all events happened o form a stronger me. 2017 started off pretty rough. New circumstances, new responsibilities, and suddenly a closed friend of mine might have a problem that he tries to process by himself first. Hope he is doing well, hope I can adjust fast. I am pretty positive that everything is going alright.
I also want to give a little space for those who left the world in 2016. One of them was my grandpa's sister in law. Please don't surprise if I am closed to my big family, including the extended family. Oma Hetty was one of those who kept closed with us even afteropa Tjiong *grandpa's brother passed away years ago. She even presented when my mom passed away in 2013. Couldn't forget about it. Love her spirit and I am missing her sweet smile. Also Maciu. Ah Maciu... she's one of my nannies when I was little. She's my mambo's aunt. Hope you two have a smooth journey. May God forgive all your sins and we love you.


Oh my. looking back the past two years, I am basically aware that each year has its own big theme. 2015 was a year of fulfilled prayers. 2016 was a year of twists. and.. how about 2017? Regardless the big theme that is going to be plotted, here is the list I want to list for 2017. The more realistic ones.


1. 20 books reading challenge.
2. 60 kg, 3 kg more to go haha
3. Building up a steadier praying habit :)
4. Traveling to Penang and the Netherlands, possibly South Korea again if things getting crazier :)
5. Laid back, Relax... Enjoy the ride.


Have fun! Not to worry over things, falling in love! Not afraid of heartbroken or sadness. Life is too short to be wasted. It is cliche, and true at the same time :)

In 2016, I have learned that every hardship as the antidotes haha. The bad things and the good things happening hand in hand.




Oh 2016, thank you soooo mucccchhh. More things to be grateful compared all the crazy shits happened. I love it. Though I have to admit, that I concluded 2016 with a tear in my eyes and smiling, all at once.
My new year eve was a blessing. I got to wait till midnight with my grand ma and grand pa. They are 95 years old! However, my grandma could stll read and told her opinion. She gave me a little wisdom that night. She told me "kau harus berdoa. berdoa saja. cerita apa yang kau punya susah. Nanti biar Tuhan yang atur" - translated as "you have to pray. Just pray. Tell what is burdening you. Let God takes care of it" what a blessing! :) My 95 year old oma is jjang!

my beautiful oma... 

Hello 2017. I am ready! Bring it on!

CVB

Being 27

Before I start, let me take this chance to express my gratitude to those who drop birthday wishes on social media, threw me a party, and sent me presents or lovely messages. All well received :) Thank you once again... :)

I just turned 27 about 10 days ago. I am not a type of person (or woman) who hesitates to say about age. Age for me is a measurement; how well I am doing, how much I have learned, how far I may go. For me, being 27 is another special turning point. I just realize one thing when I turned 27. 27 is an odd number, not young, not old. 27 is the first mark entering late twenty, don't you agree?Three more years, and I am entering the 30s-hood. Some say that life starts at 30. I can't picture it in my head just yet. Am I still here fighting all alone, be a daddy's girl at home, or... something else. Let the future be the unwritten page. Nevertheless, can I say that turning 27 is special?
What special about me turning 27 is, just three days before my birthday, I got to meet three different people who asked me similar questions. All leading to the future me. It is like preparing me to construct what my future could be.
First person that I met was my very boss. I got to do a presentation in front of him on that Friday. I could say that it was an evaluation. His saying about me was striking me right in the heart. He always has this punctuality about his staff. At least it always works on me. I could bear working at his company and reaching my current position was all because of him saying that I had to trust myself and should not be afraid of rejections. I could say he might not be perfect, but he has own gig about observing people, and I respected him for that. After the presentation, we had a small heart-to-heart conversation. Despite my headache, we conducted pretty casual conversation (not work-related topics) and there he was giving me questions; "what is your future plan?", "will you work on the company again?" Giving you a little background for those who haven't known, my papo owns a small firm in Makassar and people do expect me to go back to him and work with him. Of course, it is on my agenda and that's what I told my boss about my plan in the next two years. However, secretly wishing that it will be my last-last plan. Meaning, if I do not longer get any other great opportunity, or if I am not getting married (let's say) with people who are not from Makassar, I might go home by that time. I make my father turning 65 as my turning point as well. That's what I told him. He nodded acknowledge-ly since he knew my family, and what situations we have been through. He said that, it was OK for me to go back to my father, though, he would be happy if I still stay with him. I smiled contentedly. I was glad that he was the first one that wake me up. He said that I needed to have a goal. Humbly say to you that I have been living my life after moving to Malang kinda un-purposely. Not intentionally, but because I just don't know what I am going to do. He, on that day, activated my brain to have goal again, to dream again.
Just like story in novel or drama where you are going to meet people on the same day that has similar purpose, I met a second person who gave me more insights. It is like building a story up. The second person that I met was giving me another chance, another hope. She's a parent from a student that I once helped. She's been trying to keep in touch with me (reminds me of mambo), she gave me another perspective about going home and back to papo's company. There's a little concern on her voice that I rarely found from other people. Others might tell me to go back as soon as possible, she said the opposite. She told me that why don't I take another chance? Like working in the international corporation? Suddenly, it sounds promising. Suddenly, I don't want to go back just yet. I said to her that I am still open to opportunities, but to work at a company like the one I am working is mostly no. However, if there is another chance, I will take a look at it deliberately. She said that 27 is still a young age. She added that "it is good to have your own company, but you are still young, you can go anywhere you like, you can learn much more" and she's right.
Lastly, on the very same day, I finally got to meet my aunt who came from the Nederland. She's my papo's older sister. She took care of us, nieces and nephews, daringly. On the bed, she talked to me like a real family would converse. A traditional suggestion, at the same time a loving one :). She was worrying about me having my own family. I haven't shown any signs of in a relationship. Many guys I have brought home, but they only are friends. She's not the type of annoying tante who pushes me to get married. She only advised that I should pray sincerely and she's willing to be a match-maker haha. No, she's not the type of annoying tante-tante who just gives you meaningless advise or just wooshing around saying I should be married now. Nope. She did it sincerely. I was grateful about that. The short conversation that we had in the dark gave me a blissful feeling. In the end, what I want is to be secured, settling down, and how to get it? It will be a great adventure to follow.
Papo has said to me and to my boss when I first recruited in Surabaya. He said that he would be OK whether I continue on my own path or I choose to go back. He clearly said that I don't need to come back to his company if I wish to. He kept his own word. Many people have guessed that he want me to come back, but after I discussed this matter to him again, he said the same thing with what he had said before. I am OK to continue on my career.
I should take this seriously. I just consciously knew that I haven't taken my future seriously. I may say that I am too absorbed of current situations, but not in a good way. I can say that I am in my comfort zone and stays there waiting for the future calling me which is not how it works. I have to pursue the future. Setting what I really want to do.
But again, in the end of the day, what we set is not settled by our own will. There must be a conspiracy within the universe, and it will do if it sees through our efforts. Work on it Chen. I can only take a rosary and pray for our limitations as human. Life is a scenario and God is a director. It is always like that isn't it?
Ah, after three months of gloomy me, I can see where this year takes me. Everything does happen because of reasons. Meeting these people, all these thoughts, all the gloominess, all came together in the end, so thank you once again..

I had a blast. People wishes, birthday presents, little not-so-surprised party, elmo cupcakes, and a lovely lovely lovely  love-card from my 93 year old opaaaa... It is amazing that he can still writes, and can give me the best immunity for a 27 year old me.

He made me realize one thing that all this long I never been alone. People kept coming to assist me, to guide me, to let me take my own lead of my own game, and on top of that, yes I still have that BIG DIRECTOR up there... Ok PDnim (just like South Korean addresses director), give me roles. 

CVB

Dear February

6It is the last two days of January, and I can say that 2016 was started roughly. There were too many gloomy days, bored than ever, un-motivated to the max, and I am sick again. On top of that, today and tomorrow, I have to attend education expo. Meaning, I need to talk, but I am losing my voice. Hahahahahaa completed!!!

(sigh)...

Nonetheless, I have this vibe that everything after this will be great. 2016 still have eleven months to pass. I just need to shake my self a bit in the early of 2016.

Dear February,
You are the shortest month in 2016, I hope you'd be a good transition to cure my lonely heart. Be busy, be meticulous, and be efficient. I hope my self will adjust this new situation. New year really means new year!. Everything is back to zero. What I have been through in 2015 is just left. It is a brand new year. I cannot carry out my habit in 2015, things need adjustment. Maybe because 2015 was ended too nicely. Started nicely as well. I was hoping that 2016 would be the same, but surprise is a surprise isn't it?  The solution for this situations is... I just need to start a new habit...
Anyhow, dear my self in February, please adapt well... you are living in present, not past. I know you can do it, you have been through the worst, so please chin up. Cheer up. Work things out. You are the handler of your own remote control. You can mute yourself doing nothing, or press play and rock and roll.

Dear February,
even if you might be gloomier, I will be prepared...
Let things go, let loose our self, and enjoy the ride don't we?

CVB

Travelling Stories - Third December Series

Continuing to the previous post, I think it is legit to share about my travelling stories in 2015.
Started from January to the latest November's.
Travelling this year were so meaningful. Each one of them. I am honestly not an adventure seeker like hiking or diving person (well, if there's a chance, I will say... "why not" though). My travelling for this year was all between work and personal matter. I love each story of it. Tiap tempat punya ceritanya masing-masing. Each place has its own story. Most of them, I have shared in posts. I am just going to do a recap and maybe add a little 'feel' about it.

January 30th until the first week of February, I travelled for work. Roadshow. Education expo. I went to all cities; Bali, Bandung and Jakarta. Meaning, the whole week. I had so much fun. I got to meet friends, new partners, new fellow colleagues, get to know my colleagues more. Roadshow was always fun. Tiring but fun. This year I made a chance to meet with Mama Henny (my mom in Bali) and also Sara and Anton haha. Not to forget, I got to meet my AIS friends. That's when I got invited as ASTUMA  - Asosiasi tukang makan. I love how people in group gather together, made a plan, and hung out. Sharing stories and fun. Check out the whole story here

All crew

with my AIS friends

Second week of February, I went home for a wedding which I would share to you later in this series. Long story short, I got reunited with a big family of Budhi. I met complete package of Budhi second generations (My dad's siblings), had little fun with them, and it was a pleasant wedding party. I love this side of my Budhi clan. There's no age barrier. Olds and Youngs hung out together, posed for goofy picture, played games, got punished and so on. We are all very closed to each other, to the extended family as well. Like my dad's cousins, even the children. I am so lucky that I have family like this. This particular trip has given me insight about 'marriage and career'. I have talked about it in here. Around that time, I have been assigned to be in charge of Malang office. And, I was also still single. People kept wishing that I would have my own wedding soon. Amen to that.

Budhi clan

March, I travelled to Hongkong for a sad story. My aunt, my mom's cousin, passed away. I have shared about it in here. It was a 72 hours trip including 6 hours in KLIA. I was literally at my grand uncle's place giving him a company. It was my first trip because of a funeral. I have never done it before. Fun fact, my first time to Hongkong was for this aunt's wedding, and then 16 years later, I came back for her funeral. It was a sad yet heartwarming journey. I did not really know my mom's extended family compared to my dad's, but the grand uncle was the only one left from my grand pa's siblings. I was really grateful that he and his wife recognized me. I got a chance to get to know my second cousins as well. It was nice. But yes, sad. The whole story can be found here

April, US Trip. One of the most anticipated trip ever. Best birthday gift. I reconciled with my past here, especially Chicago where I had a little sad story happened when I first went there. However, I dared to look back and made a peace with a painful past. And, I still love Chicago. Favorite city in the world!!! I even got a jackpot to visit Washington DC, to see Abraham Lincoln from my own eyes! Don't forget the first musical ever!
I have told in several posts about the whole trip



May, moved to Malang. I hate packing! that's all! haha. Moving to Malang made me state that I don't want to move city again, if I have to find an end, it would be in Makassar. No more adventuring like this. I have enough. I was at the point where I found it was more tiring to move than exciting. I was tired to adapt again. I lost hope. But, surprisingly, Malang has treated me pretty well.

June, I enjoy Ramadhan at Malang.


July, Going home for lebaran, trapped in Juanda again. Oh my fate. I am always lingered with vulcanic erruption. But, many good things happened because of this whole trap case. I could meet Cath2 again, I have promised her to stay at her house whenver I went to Surabaya, I could have a little luxury in Tunjungan Plaza, got a pair of jeans for me, and I made friends because of our mutual condition.

August, I went to Surabaya for another wedding; this time was the son of my dad's cousin. I knew most of his cousin especially the Mangitungs. I have known each one of them, and was an honor to meet them with their children and grand children. I am a family person. I love getting to know extended family. Exchanging short updates. If I were in the sims, my aspiration is 'family' hahaha. I enjoyed event like this.

Towards the end of August and early September, I went to Surabaya and Jakarta for work. Another education expo week. It was a short trip. In Surabaya, I had little reunion with fellow colleagues and partners. In Jakarta, I made it to meet my fellow Minnesotans (Indonesian students who studied at UofM). We finally could meet. Most of us came home for good. We shared odds about adapting back, about working environment, even society (oh please). We did share similar experience before, so it was a pleasant conversation. Looking at how we have similar vision as well.

September was the busiest, I only stayed in Malang for the whole month.

October, I went to Surabaya again for a sweet escape with my fellow 'orang gunung'. She is my cousin's cousin (get it?). We have grown up together and met again in Surabaya before she moved to another city. We both moved up to the mountains (different island), around the same time. We wanted to have a little city taste; thus, we agreed to meet again. Shopping like there was no tomorrow. We bought so much, we had fun, and bills piled up. hahaha but, it was worth it.

November, Jakarta - Bogor. You knew it already. I have posted in here. It was like a grand finale of the journey here. It was like a last stop to let myself really prepare for December when everything needs to be settled for the new year. I was really grateful for this journey beyond what I could ask. I found man answers to my prayers there. It was only 3 days 2 night journey but it gave a lot.

I can say that from January to now was like a red thread. Each travelling has been an ammunition for the next one. Each travelling has its own purpose. To refresh, to heal, to bound, to halt, to reconcile, to support.
Just like saying.
"Travel far enough, you'll meet yourself" - David Michael. I have found or reinvented my self piece by piece from this simple journey. For 2016, I have promised myself for some real adventure. I hope universe will hear my little prayer again. I will not hold back.

cheers!



CVB

#48HoursAway - second December Series

It has happened in November, but I include it as my second story of December Series because it has a significant impact on me. That particular event is the reason why I feel so excited and ready for December.

These past few days, you have seen none other things than this hashtag - #48HoursAway on my social media! Yes! I got too excited about this trip because it turned out to be.... a ultimate series of answers, a thanksgiving getaway, and surely a big reunion frenzy. It is all because of Mr. Anton again! Why on earth he got an idea to have "thanksgiving dinner" while we are in Indonesia. We don't celebrate thanksgiving in Indonesia. But, he did host this party. And I think only him could think something as ridiculous like this. Additionally, I also think I was a bit crazy to agree to this whole idea.
One fine day, there was a message via facebook messanger, a group message to be precised. It was about this whole gathering. From 8 people down to only 5 people who agree to meet. I did agree because I thought it was the chance for me to meet up with Sara and spend time in Bogor. We have been talking about meeting up for months. The chance were never come until that message came in. So, I grabbed it, said yes, found a ticket, and bam... I was in the plane ready for my weekend getaway. . FYI, Sara and Anton and I were united because of one odd thing; alcohol. But, don't get me wrong, we are a responsible drinker ;) and devoted Catholic as well.

Anyway... days after I told everybody else that I bought the ticket, Sara told me that Atay is getting married! Atay is one of "petinggi" of Mudika Seattle. Both me and Sara knew each other from Mudika. The wedding would be held on Friday 27th when I arrived. Initiative planning was we went to the holy matrimony because Sara was concerning about her 3 years old baby had to stay up late two consecutive nights for our 'thanksgiving dinner' would be held on the Saturday the 28th.
D-1 she told me that it was OK for us to go to the reception instead. It had a bigger chance to meet up with everybody else. Therefore, there we were greeted everybody. Had so much fun meeting familiar face once we were in Seattle. It's been about 5 or 6 years I haven't met them. The night went out and the morning came.

As a die hard fan of Dee, me and Sara decided to pay a visit to Filosofi Kopi, Melawai. Of course we visited a local coffee shop at Bogor called Imahnini gallery and coffee shop. I love that place! Vintage and cozy. Even the TV is still black and white, and it has a rustic piano which still could be played. Yeyeyeye. Had a little jam with Sara ( we were in the music group of Mudika for a while).

Then, we went to Melaway. To be honest with you, I think I would not go back there again. The ambience was a bit off, like everybody was in rush, the coffee was OK, but the churros was one of the best I would say.Well, the coffeeshop is very photogenic






Then, the night was coming. We arrived at Hang Lekir street just at the same time with the other party, Bejo. Gosh, I haven't met Bejo for 5 years. Anton btw I met by coincidence before, and me and Sara managed to meet him again earlier this year (story is here)

Proceed to the dinner, instead of turkey and pumpkin pie, we had ayam bakar, casserole, mie goreng, and kare ayam, don't forget rice and kerupuk of course. Desserts were chocolate pudding, banana bread, and crispy almond. And yes... booster.

Ah, that night was one of the happiest moments ever. Added as one of the high lights in my 2015 fanfare. It's been a while I haven't felt the joy of gathering with friends. I have been moving around too much, and only went out with a person or two. We had a lot of fun. We reminisced some old times, gave updates of each other, brought new member (spouse, brother, and kid), and had a lot of fun.

Do you know the feeling of meeting the right people in the right moment?
I want to say that I met them because I needed to meet them, the universe has made us to meet so. Ah.. I wish I really can express this well. Let me just use the words; impulsive and intuition. I hope this can lead you to the idea I am trying to share here. This trip was one of an impulsive action. I could say that it was lead by an intuition that I did not realize at first.
It turns out this journey has helped me to solve one little problem that I have. Sorry, but I think I have to add word in Bahasa for the sake of writing.
Sadar nggak sadar, I have been struggling with one particular case that myself has no courage to really step in and solve it. Parts of myself knew the answer already. A guess. Maybe that's why I did not dare to even ask about it. I let it settled in the bottom of my consciousness. However, this whole trip has helped me to put a period in it. Case closed.
I've been thinking that the whole universe was in conspiracy. I knew from the beginning that this trip was no ordinary trip. Impulsive trip has its own charm. It turned out to be finding answers. It is indeed 'a series of answer.' Every event happened, out of what I have been wondering. I was asking myself when I would be in a wedding where I could meet friends that I haven't met before. You know that I kept moving around so sadly I got little wedding invitation from my circle because they knew it would be hard to me to travel. But hey, Atay got the jackpot (or I may say, I got the jackpot). I was asking myself when I could meet my fellow Mudika Seattle peeps, and hey... there was the wedding night. I was asking myself when I could go to Bogor, and you knew the answer already.
One last miracle, I also got a chance to meet my friend from Minneapolis at the very same night :)
How blessed I am

I am glad that this fragile heart has a strength to shout out, to be listened. I am glad that I chose to listen to it. To let it lead the way.
This is always fascinating. I am glad that my heart still has its ability to show me the right way just  like before. Precisely, this year, I have so many events that was absurd but turned out to be 'I got what I needed'. It's been done.

I also realize one thing. My #48HoursAway trip is a thanksgiving trip.
Yes, I am grateful for this trip.

Enough said :)

More to come in other December series. Stay tune


CVB

Love in October

Ah October.. Were born 4 fantastic people that I know, love me unconditionally.
On the 9th, was born a beautiful lady in Wisconsin,

USA. 19 plus years or so met me for the first time in the U. I have posted about her in here.



Then on the 10th of October was born a silly little creature, 6 months younger than me, my baby 'sister' Gindrong whom I knew a glimpse of sisterhood through her. We fought over strawberry ice cream, we annoyed each other and the next minute we sang like crazy, we chatted until 2 AM in the Morning, we took shower together, we swam for hours, we supported each other just like sisters do.

Next, I met this annoying girl in junior high and been a classmates for 5 consecutive years during junior and high school year. That's what I call an inevitable frienemy. She was born on 11th of October. My best friend and enemy; Chiuchiullia. This friend who could scold me when I did a stupid things. Been away for years, but just can't get rid of her hahaha.

Aaaaand in 1957, on October 14th was born a lady that just right for me. Through her, I was born into the world. Been raised by her for 23 years. Been loved by her unconditionally. Been scolded by her many many times, been supported by her more than I could ask for even though that meant that she should put aside her ego, been taught about life; how to appreciate it, me mambo agogo. Born as Vanni Horas, famous by being Inska Horas, and well known as my mambo.

Ahhh October... thank you for giving me my precious ones. I wish you all have a nice birthday, including you my mambo up there... hope you have a great feast with angels and saints. I know you keep watching me. I keep remembering you...For you in USA or in Indonesia, I hope you three the best I could think of. I love you all. Thank you for being with me trough ups and downs...

I love you all...



CVB

Small Miracle

I never imagine that my life can be so dynamic. Full of surprise. Work has brought me to many unpredictable encounters, including this very one. I am still out of words, speechless, bewildered, or any other subjective that shows how hard for me to believe it. It is still uggh...but in a good term.

In my second year in Seattle, I was the head of Indonesian Catholic Youth Group or Mudika. This group is spread around the globe, including north America. Seattle and Vancouver are 2 hours away; thus, we usually got together. When I was the head, I have been contacted with heads of Mudika from other states, including Vancouver. Let's call him Z. We only contacted via facebook and email.
It was back in 2009 then and I did not even dream that we would meet in person. Our friendship was limited on newsfeed and seasonal greetings. Not more than that. I only knew what was happening in his life roughly from what he posted.
Then, life is funny indeed. 2 weeks ago, I saw a familiar face came into the meeting room at one of Catholic high schools here in Malang. I was convinced that it was Z. I called his name and yes it was him!!! It was something that made me out of words. Just like "whoaaaa" "wooow". hahaha... It was like a pandora box. Suddenly it just appeared in front of your eyes. It was more shocking than meeting Angga from Maliq and the Essentials. 

Oh well, we had a week to do a little catch up. We even forgot how we started to know each other. He even asked whether we've met before or not. lol. It was just hilarious. This can be considered a miraculous meeting, well .. I think I now can add it to my magical meeting, something that unexpectedly making me happy.
I started to count small miracles that happened around me. Unpredictable encounters, meeting people that can accept you well, thinking about having pizza and suddenly someone offered you a slice of pizza, sick of going alone at church then a friend just sat next to you, a song that is in your head sang by a choir, dreaming about going to US again and your manager said that you are offered to go there for a business trip. Those things. Every little things matter.

Indeed, every little things do matter. Fact that you are actually seeing with your brain, I am typing these words in my second language, my cactus Elmo just having little babies, he's about regenerating ;), dogs recognize his owner, Morning ray, anything.

I read back all the posts that I have posted here in my blog and the old ones, most posts are telling about how things work in its own way. Things that making me grateful.

small miracles
we’re making small miracles
from the smile that we give to each other
everyday, anytime, anyway
small miracles
we’re making more miracles
thank God we’re alive - Bonita and the Hus Band, 'Small Miracle'

It is indeed starting with a simple thing. A smile, a fresh air, a plate of warm food, oh really those things. Some people still search what is the meaning of one's life. What is the matter of one's existence. In what purpose. These questions are OK to be asked of course. As Lewis states, "Miracles are a RETELLING in SMALL LETTERS of the VERY SAME STORY which is WRITTEN across the whole world in LETTERS TOO LARGE for some of us to see" We sometimes missed it just because it is too simple. Be aware that we are now making small miracles. Counts everything, the bads and goods. And you feel different. You eventually have answers of those questions.
More positive things are coming to you in the end...

Just do a simple greet, take care of your own room, say hi to  your mom and dad, just that..

Because it is a miracle itself that we are now breathing and alive.

Bonita and the Hus Band from the album Small miracles

CVB

The word - Sincere

It is a busy week indeed. School starts, students are sent, yet I feel uneasy.
Nervous to the max without a realistic reason.

Yesterday I especially was not feeling well. Had a long day, got a phone call in the middle of the night, felt a little bit being ignored by that particular student, just could not feel easy. It was just bad. Bad mood.
You know what? I was back with Misaeng. Please don't be bored to hear I repeat myself about Misaeng.
It is indeed a healing. I watched it again and again, and haven't got tired of it. The more I see it, the more I appreciate the show.
I could notice details, could make a possible causal, why this character be this or do that. Ah, it is just my therapy. How funny that I could still laugh, even though I knew what's going to happen. It became my way to enlighten my mood. Like eating a piece of chocolate. I could be immersed completely like I haven't watched it before.  Oh well, oh well...
Life is fair indeed... Just hours before leaving the office, I got another phone call from a parent. This one was a nice one indeed. She reminded me how great just doing pure consultation, just to be sincere.

Sincere...

Yes this word

Be sincere...
It is just the nicest thing, to give or to get. Anything that is given sincerely, or anything that we give sincerely always feel good. Since it is the purest, truest, most naive feeling that we have. I was not the one who send her son abroad even though she used our agency. I was just there to answer questions and concerns for I have been trough the same experience being an international student. Just that. She still said appreciation of what I have done which I thought, nothing much.
She just made me smile. Concluded my day at work with a sweet note. Thank you tante...

Onwards, I will try my best to just simply being sincere... including the night phone call from student asking trivia things haha... ooh well.. they were just as confused as I was before, so yeah.....



Sincerely...
CVB

(Always) Magical April

Today's the 10th day of April, first post in April, but what I can say, let's just talk about April.
Aside from it is the month of my birthday, April is always fun, but this year is exceptionally blossom.. I am gladly saying to you that I will be travelling soon. It can be said as a birthday trip. In fact, it is actually a business trip to U.S.A. Yeah baby United States of America, my so-called second home. This time, I am going to different states. Just exciting! I will be in Chicago for about a week,a couple of days in Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Vermont.

The story behind this trip is actually something that I want to talk more.

So... as you might know that the company that I work having partnership with various schools overseas. We often get invitation for a FAM Trip (Familiarize trip) or agent conference. I am so blessed that I got this opportunity. Actually, I was also in for another FAM Trip to Europe, but I voluntarily out of the line, and voted for US trip.
The reason why I chose US over Europe because it's just magical. It started with a simple daydreaming. I happened to do "I wish" a lot in the beginning of this year. "I wish I can experience winter again" "I wish I can eat Chipotle again" "I wish I can go to US again". I merely wondered to do stuff that I missed to do in the States. I missed some food, I regret not doing 'this' and 'that' in my last trip in 2013. It started simple. Soon, not long after those "I wish", an email came to me at one night. Asked whether I wanted to go to US FAM Trip or not. Jaw dropped.

I think I am sane enough to take it although I am a US graduate. The purpose of this FAM trip is to be FAMILIAR (duh! heck ya) with the education system, schools, and surrounding. Once, US trip was given to another colleague because my boss said that "let's just give another (country) to Chendani" (heartbroken, #notreally). So, I am surprised that I got this trip. I was totally excited and retreated from the Europe trip because I will be going to the states that I never been to. Most of them are in Northeast. Perhaps, that's nothing much in South Virginia or Vermont. But, different states has different things. I like to explore more. Can't go to Washington DC, can go to Pennsylvania. Can't go to Minnesota, can go to Chicago. I am just excited with more States are put on my list. I am just excited that I can do what I haven't had a chance to do while I was in US or in my last trip (2013). Ah, I never got enough of US. I still have US visa on my passport until 2017. Who knows, I can make one more trip. I tell myself to go to Seattle again someday. US might be not the best country in the world, but you can never explain why you are in love with something can't you?.

Another "dream come true" moment. My favorite airline so far is Korean airline. I like the food, I like Incheon airport, I like the movies on the plane, I like the musics, I even love the blanket. Guess what. An email came on Good Friday; an itinerary.

SUB - DPS; Garuda Indonesia

DPS - ICN; Korean airline

ICN - ORD; Korean airline

I cried

Thank you
Because this trip is so smooth and well-planned unlike my Batman Adventure last year which was rushed but FUN. Hopefully, the trip goes smooth on the D-day as well. Travelling never been easy. I still get nervous for an overseas trip. Especially, when I need to catch multiple flights in short amount of time. Nevertheless, I am ready for the 10,000 miles or so trip, despite the sexy rate of dollar currently.

Today is also exceptionally blessed. Many good news come.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you



CVB

Mambo Agogo

Mambo is a name came up out of nowhere. The inventor was my dad. The person that was called, no one other than my own mom. I remember clearly, one day back then, when we had lunch, my dad blurred out "where is mambo?" Indicated busy mom wooshing around before finally sat down. Onwards from that day, we called my mom Mambo! 

Ah mambo. January 24th is her second birthday to the eternal life. Thus, in regards of her living memory, let me tell you about mambo that I knew dearly.
Mambo was in love with cooking. Kitchen was her throne. She could consider cooking as a stress reliever or in contrary, it made her stressful. Yes, my mom could feel two emotions at the same time. A libra typical. Anyway, she loved to cook and would cook enormously  and all of her dishes would be delivered to her friends or business-partners. She noted who liked what, who could not eat what, and so on. Whenever she cooked was a hell for me. Haha believe me, we did not have a good term back then. We fought often whenever she cooked at house. For those who got my mom's dishes, don't worry, it was not your fault, it was just us. I did not hate when my mom cooked, but I should be extra patient and sometimes I could not. Haha. It was not a bad memory at all. Kitchen would be smelled with Pastel tutup or what my mom called "Kentang Bakar" - baked potato, Dutch style baked potato. It was like a casserole topped with creamy smashed potato. Some other time, she would make her family tradition recipe. She called it Yuping. I think it's a dish from Fuqian where my mom's ancestor came from. You could probably only find it in Taiwan nowadays. Countless of recipes. My favorite was Yuping

.
Besides cooking, she loves to go shopping! Nontheless, she's not a shopaholic unless the SALE sign was up. She bought pans to underwear with BIG sale on it. She would like to ask my dad's cousin in Jakarta to find me a ballet dress with a note "yang diskon ya Wi", discount.. discount... discount. Her destiny was with DISCOUNT. She could get many things on a big sale. It's like discount and her were calling each other. Not only because the sign Sale was up, but she had a very good networking. She could get discount from a textile shop, crab restaurant, jewellery shop, material shop, health laboratory, and her friends or relatives could literally say her name in a Japanese Restaurant and they would get a discount ;). She is indeed a Tante Diskon.
One thing that is related to her as well, was a calculator. She would have a normal-sized calculator in her purse. Hehehehehehehhee... it was taken out when she bought groceries, or met customers. Her closed friends were smiling brightly when saw me put her favorite calculator in her coffin. I know I was silly. Hehe
She was not the kindest mom on earth, but she was a perfect mom for me indeed. Reminisce her leave, I was like seeing my mom graduated proudly from university of life. She had accomplished so much. Her complex about discount was diminished a little so she was able to enjoy many things. She was a little bit hard on herself. However, influenced by my dad, she was able to spend peacefully on her happiness in her last years on earth. Such as going to a nice hotel to spend a chinese new year, ate good food without waiting to be discounted  bought me an expensive dress. She said, she did not care anymore, she wanted to enjoy. And thus, she was able to be grateful of everything she had.
Very fresh in my mind, 2 years a go in her funeral in the church, people were packed. It looked like an ordinary Sunday mass. It was an honour to have you all back then. Thank you for those who were in grief for my mom's lost. Thank you for those who smiled brightly when coming to see my mom for the last time. Most of my father's cousins and her own cousins whom she had been closed with, came to our house and smiled upon my mom's body. They told my mom... "it is done. You are free now"

This is her two years of leaving us, but let us celebrate it with joy. For she was not going in agony, but in joyful heart. She was a warrior, she still my guardian warrior. Counted as I took my first breath on earth until very now, and even until my last breath, her heart is still beating like a drum in my heart.

Copied from Phillip Phillips's song Gone Gone Gone,
She is my backbone

My cornerstone
My crutch when my legs aren't moving.

My head start

My rugged heart

Like a drum, mambo don't stop beating

Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you

and long after you're gone, gone, gone

I'll love you long after you're gone, gone, gone

Langit Amat Indah

Aku tidak berbohong bahwa hari itu, langit luar biasa indah. Langit biru yang sama, bumi yang berputar mengelilingi matahari, dan aku yang menikmati langit dari dalam pesawat. Tak bisa mencemooh orang-orang yg hobi mengepost foto2 langit saat mereka ada di pesawat karena memang langit bisa menjadi begitu indah.
Dari waktu ke waktu tiap kali aku memandang ke luar jendela kecil itu, awan-awan ikut menghibur dengan segala bentuknya. Ada yang menggumpal besar, melambung lambung seperti kapas atau tersebar dengan bentuk tipis. Langit seperti terbelah dengan warna gradasi mengikuti tutupan awan dan letak cahaya matahari.
...
Kukira tak ada kata-kata yang bisa kuketik untuk memberi tahu kamu bahwa aku terpukau. Terpukau akan langit. Itu saja. Tak pernah aku tersenyum begitu rupa hanya karena langit.

Kau tahu, perjalanan 1 jam itu terasa begitu nyaman. Mirip seperti perjalanan antar kota melalui kereta di mana kau bisa saja terhibur melihat rumah-rumah, penduduk, pohon, atau bentangan sawah. Aku hanya melihat deretan awan yang tidak pernah berbentuk seragam. Semuanya mempunyai bentuk lain. Menghibur. Indah.

Belum cukup sampe di situ... aku lihat dia...

Pelangi

Di antara kerumunan awan.

Aku tak pernah tersenyum begitu lebar ketika melihat langit.

Aku pun tak pernah tersenyum begitu lebar melihat hidupku di tahun 2014 yang akan berakhir ini.

Sudah waktunya sisa 3 hari di tahun 2014, aku menikmatinya dengan lambat. Tidak perlu terburu-buru. Aku pun sadar betul bahwa kita tidak boleh berhenti berdoa untuk tahun 2015. Tahun sudah mau berakhir, tapi tiba-tiba terjadi tragedi air asia, Gassing hari ini tak pulang, dan banjir masih mengancam.

Namun, sejenak biarkan aku lamat-lamat mengingat langit yang amat indah itu.
Aku sadar... bahwa dunia boleh berubah tapi langit ada di situ terus. Langit hanya terlihat berubah sesuai dengan angin yang membawa kumpulan awan dan letak bumi saat mengelilingi matahari.

Sebelum mendarat, aku merasa beruntung bisa menyaksikan sesuatu yang menurutku patut dikagumi. Tempat kami masih cerah, namun tak lama lagi, kami akan memasuki daerah mendung. Di depan sana, awan-awan sudah menyatu menutupi cerahnya matahari yang masih ada di sini. Sinarnya terus ada di situ, namun awan gelap menghalanginya.

Hidup terup berjalan dan kita berevolusi menurut pengalamannya. Masing-masing mengalami awan yang tipis sehingga cahaya matahari masih bisa menyinari. Atau ada saatnya kita mengalami awan hitam tebal yang membuat kelam. Padahal matahari yang sama, awan yang sama, manusia yang sama. Situasi yang berbeda.

Sedetik ini masih terang. Besok hujan. Malam ini langit cerah tanpa awan.

Begitulah...

Aku tak sabar dengan 2015. Apakah langit kita akan cerah? Kelabu? Atau badai? Lalu apa pelangi akan muncul? Aku rasa... semua akan ada waktunya. Kita semua akan mengalami itu semua. Sudah ada porsinya. Tinggal bagaimana kita bersikap.
Bukankah begitu selalu?

Selamat menyonsong tahun baru.
Pray for air asia.
And dear Gassing, please come back home

Ku yakin hujan kan berhenti
Terpana indahnya mentari
Kita yang menari berlagu misteri

Yang tersingkap tanpa tersadari - Langit Amat Indah, by RSD (OST Perahu Kertas)

CVB